The sad news is that Valentine’s Day is not a public holiday. Your place of work, shops, schools, public transport and other organisations remain open as usual on this day. You are only lucky that this year’s Valentine’s falls on Sunday, February 14. Away from that, Valentine’s Day is celebrated every February 14. It is generally a festival of romantic love where people go out of their way to give gifts of endearment like cards, letters and flowers to their partner or simply anyone they love. Then there is the romantic eat-out in a decent restaurant or a night of passion in some hotel. But don’t give this kind of talk to a man like John Bunyeshuli, the CEO of House of Fashion and Kigali Fashion Week. “When is Valentine’s Day anyway?” he retorted quite seriously when I called him up for a comment on the subject. “Valentine’s is a commercial event created so that people can take their wives and girlfriends out and then spend on them,” he ranted. He added, “So in a nutshell I do not believe in Valentine’s Day, and don’t even ask any more questions.” Then in retrospect he added:“But I respect those who do. I do not believe in it but I celebrate it with those who believe in it when I’m invited.” For popular disc jockey and event MC Makeda Mahadeo aka DJ Makeda, Valentine’s Day is a subject she talks about in retrospect. “I think Valentine’s Day meant more to me when I was a kid, when everyone would give cards and sweets to all their friends,” she says. “Nowadays I’m usually working on Valentine’s Day, either ‘DJ-ing’ or ‘MC-ing’ an event.” So how does she plan on spending the day this year? “I don’t have anything special planned,” she says.“I just hope to spend it with my Valentine,” the DJ says. “I’ll never forget a candle lit dinner held in the courtyard of a private art museum…he did all the things: champagne, flowers, jewelry, chocolate…plus art,” Judith Kaine, the founder and creative director of the public arts initiative -Kurema, Kureba, Kwiga recounts her most memorable Valentine’s Day. But don’t be fooled, for if anything, she is almost as cynical as Bunyeshuli about the whole hullaballoo surrounding Valentine’s Day. “As an American living abroad in a place where Valentine’s day is only recently becoming a thing, I can’t help but feel a bit cynical and think of the whole thing as a commercialised bonanza of red and pink…in many ways, at least in the U.S, it’s a day designed to make people - both singles and couples question their relationship status: the singles being made to feel extra single, and the couples being made to overthink the quality of their relationships based on the extent of the romantic gestures delivered by their partners... “ Still, she cuts some slack for Valentine’s Day enthusiasts. “All that said, beyond my cynicism I think it can also be a really fun day to celebrate love and romance in our lives no matter your relationship status or location in the world,” Kaine says. I ask if she has any set plans come Sunday and she says,“This year, I’ll be grateful if my partner makes some effort towards romance - it’ll be nearly three years since we first met, so hopefully we can do something nice together to celebrate ‘us’. I don’t need fancy gifts, just a bit of quality time and conversation and I’ll be a happy girl.” For Dr. Rachna Pande, a specialist in internal medicine at Ruhengeri Hospital, it is a day to remind humanity of love, which she describes as “a very basic human value needed to maintain peace and harmony.” What she does not like though, is the fact that “its celebrations have become a hype, created by those with commercial interests in mind. The surge in sales of roses, chocolates and other gifts benefits these business people.” Her most memorable Valentine’s Day happened a few years ago when she was invited by a friend for a Valentine’s Day party. “My husband was away at that time and my friends made me feel happy and cheerful, lifting the gloom I was experiencing for being alone on this day. Right now I have no plans for this coming valentine’s day,” the doctor says. Dieudonné Ishimwe, the Chief Executive Officer of Rwanda Inspiration Back Up, the organisers of the Miss Rwanda beauty pageant has no kind words for Valentine’s Day. “Valentine’s Day is something good for the lovers but as for my case, I’m single and not even searching, so I’m not interested in that. I don’t have a girlfriend, a mother or a father, so Valentine’s is meaningless for me, but for others I guess it’s fine,” he says. Similarly cynical, though less so, is Sandrine Isheja Butera, a radio personality on Kiss FM. “I think that love is something that should be celebrated every day. We don’t have to wait for February 14 to show that we love and care,” she argues. “Love is something that should be demonstrated in our everyday words and actions. I don’t believe in making Valentine’s such a big deal because in the world of love, every day is, or at least should be special.” Her attitude towards Valentine’s Day has also got something to do with the nature of her work. “I will be ‘MC-ing’ at different events on Valentine’s Day so maybe we will make arrangements to celebrate it earlier with my fiancé. We will just go for dinner like we usually do on weekends,” she concludes. The case is not so different for Fatuma Muhoza aka Nina, one half of the girl band Nina and Charly. “Of course I do believe in Valentine’s. I also celebrate it whenever I can. But due to the nature of my work, most Valentine’s days I’m always working, so I don’t really get the time like others,” Nina says. The band is slated for a performance at Kaizen Club in Kabeza on February 13, while on Valentine’s Day, they will perform at Rugende together with other local musicians. Nina’s most memorable Valentine’s was that of 2003. “There was this neighbour of mine who knew I was alone and also still new in the area. So on Valentine’s Day he wrapped some gifts for me that included flowers, chocolate and sweets.” This year, she plans on going shopping and also spending some time in a beauty spa. “Later in the day, we will go out as a family to have fun because Charly & Nina is a big family. It’s not just me and Charly and our manager,” the singer says. Francis Iraguha of the fashion house Francis Zahabu says he celebrates the day whenever he has the time off his busy schedule. “That is for the date of February 14. However Valentine’s being about love, I always celebrate it every day. Valentine’s Day just reminds me of the love that I owe my partner. It reminds me of the true love that I’ve shared with her. To me it’s a symbol of love, a reminder to keep the flame of love burning.” Former Miss Rwanda finalist and 2015 Miss Heritage Global, Joannah Bagwire confessed that she had nothing really to say about Valentine’s Day. “I was in high school during the Valentine’s Day of 2014 and others before that. Then in 2015 I was in Miss Rwanda. This year I don’t think I’ll celebrate because I have no boyfriend at the moment,”she says. Still, the beauty queen believes in the idea. “I believe that it can be a memory for two people who love each other. I believe that it’s part of life.” Surprise a loved one with flowers this Valentine’s Day. Singer Mani Martin’s most memorable Valentine’s Day was that of 2012 because he had someone.’ “This year I don’t know. I think it’s not going to be so special for me. I’m a little bit busy with school since it’s exam period, and also I will be performing at Hotel Mille Collines on Valentine’s Day eve in a concert dubbed “Lovers’ Evening,” the singer says. He describes Valentine’s Day as “something very tricky for Africans.” “I was born when this day was already being celebrated so it’s something I can’t change. To me it’s really good because at least lovers find a day to celebrate, but it’s really a Western concept. It’s good, but I think it’s not something that everyone should concentrate on so much especially when one can’t even trace the history behind it.” He concludes, “I think that we should nurture a culture where we celebrate our own history, men, people who did or said great things other than merely duplicating western cultures.” editorial@newtimes.co.rw **************************************** How to make Valentine’s Day extra special The pressure that comes every February 14th should not overwhelm you from showing your loved ones just how much you care about them. Whether you’re in a relationship or single, there are simple ways to make Valentine’s Day extra special for the ones you love, not to mention yourself. Soon your loved ones will be thinking you were struck by Cupid’s arrow! For your significant other •Don’t forget! Mark your calendars, because the worst thing is to be caught off guard, struggling at the last minute to make Valentine’s Day special for your partner. •Plan ahead. Procrastination leads to sloppiness. Start thinking about plans, reservations and gift ideas a week in advance to make sure everything plays out smoothly. •Anything is better than nothing! Whatever you do, do not leave your partner empty-handed. A card, flowers and candy are all clichés, but clichés become that way for a reason; they’re effective. •Make them feel loved. Valentine’s Day is all about expressing your love for someone. Give your partner your undivided attention, and go the extra mile to prove there’s no one you’d rather share this day with. •Do something specific to your relationship. Whether it’s revisiting the site of your first date or surprising them with plans you’ve been talking about doing forever but kept putting off, showing your partner that you listen and hold reverence for moments in your relationship is the best way to go. •Celebrate your love and relationship. Reflect on your relationship; relive the laughs, the romance and all the other little things that have made it so special. A photo scrapbook or slideshow, as well as mementos from dates are a great way to show nostalgia and sentimentality for your partner. For your family members •Send them cards. Buy a pack of Valentine’s Day cards, write a message in them and mail them off to your family. The message can be simple, but make sure it shows that you gave it some thought. Tell them how you truly feel about them but make it short and sweet! •Call them. Even if it’s just for a brief five minutes, calling up your parents to tell them you love them is a great way to show your Valentine’s Day spirit. They’ll truly appreciate it and you’ll get an “I love you” back indefinitely. •A simple sign of affection: If you’re around your family members, drop in for a visit and leave them with a hug or kiss. Take them out for dinner. Make sure it’s a place or an activity that you know your parents will enjoy but don’t go too overboard with it. For your friends •Celebrate with each other. Go out for a night in town with your friends. Whether you are single or not, show them that you didn’t forget about them. Tell them how much you appreciate them. Go to the movies, shopping, how about the casino? Everyone enjoys a girls/boys-night-out! •Express how much your friendship means. Something as simple as a text wishing them a Happy Valentine’s Day or a Facebook post with heart emojis is a nice way to show that you may not share romantic love, but it’s still love all the same. •Gift ideas for friends. Give each other silly gifts like a giant pink gorilla, or buy those giant heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and a bottle of wine and share them amongst each other. But give some thought to it. If they love wine gums then buy them a pack and put it in cute valentine’s box. If they enjoy dark chocolate buy them a bar and share them together. For yourself •Treat yourself. You love yourself (hopefully) so why not treat yourself to the same kind of love and affection you’re giving to others. Buy something for yourself or take an hour for some “me” time. You deserve it. A day at the spa or your favourite delivery fast food or take-out. •Don’t beat yourself up for being single. Valentine’s Day is notorious for being a couples’ holiday. Don’t let the social stigma of this holiday knock you down if you happen to be single on this one day. It’s better to be single than to have a partner you choose to love out of convenience to satisfy the expectations of this holiday. This is just an excuse to spend even more time with your friends and family! •Celebrate love in general. Love is universal, so celebrate this natural, all-encompassing human emotion. Celebrate your accomplishments, party with your friends or surround yourself with family. Love comes in all forms beyond just romance. Allow yourself to feel it in some way. •Be the best you can be for your loved ones. It’s the one day of the year where everyone should take an extra minute and acknowledge the loved ones that you value, whoever they may be. It truly is the little things, and you’ll end up making someone’s day by expressing your love for them. Agencies
