There was the era of Mills and Boon novels when every girl walked around with a copy, and built castles in the sky based on what they read. Now, Telenovela-a combination of tele, short for television and novela, a Spanish and Portuguese word for novel is what many dream for the perfect love life. Soap operas often depict dream love relationships; an all rosy kind of love with couples bonded by an overpowering passion. The angelic-looking men with abs to die for and women who look like they literally walked off a photo shoot for Vogue magazine make the picture even dreamier. Even though people are aware that these soaps are fiction, and that having them in real life is as hard as a camel passing through the eye of the needle, many lovers, especially women, end up dreaming of this kind of life; forgetting that the real world doesn’t work this way – well, at least most of the time. In real life, a man with your dream physique is probably a bouncer at a night club or a trainer in the gym living on a shoe string budget. The man with your dream job, palatial home and fancy car has one pack instead of six packs and spends most of his time shuttling between Mombasa and Kigali to clear his containers of goods. His leisure time is not about going to the Bahamas on holiday but to visit his upcountry farm and to collect rent from his many tenants. See, in real life you have to peel off the dream musk, rub your eyes and come down to earth. In real life you can’t get that perfect combination. James Bashaija, a businessman, says most people who enjoy watching soaps compare what they have, and what they see; forgetting that what they watch on TV is fiction. He says, “People, especially women, want to experience what they see in these love stories. If the man doesn’t do what she sees on television, she starts feeling like something is missing in the relationship because to them, these soaps are the true picture of love.” He says all relationships have ups and downs but most ‘soaps’ portray a different kind of love where couples are on the rosy side of perfect love. But for Busingye Mahoro, a boutique owner, Mexican soaps play a huge role in her relationship. She says her love for soaps started way back when she was still in high school and to this day, she is still in love with soaps. “I love Mexican and Spanish soap operas; they provide fabulous lessons on how to deal with financial and emotional matters that arise in relationships. They usually have beautiful and heartwarming stories of life that we can really learn from,” Mahoro says passionately. She argues that the assertion that these movies might misguide someone by giving them the wrong picture of love isn’t true because some of them, though not real, are still based on what happens in real life. However, Annet Kabatesi thinks otherwise. She doesn’t approve of what the soaps portray in their scripts, that’s why she points out that it disappoints her when some people measure their relationships basing on the soaps they watch. “Whether it’s dating or marriage, people measure these important relationships against the things that they see on television and in most cases it all ends up in disappointment and many break ups,” Kabatesi points out. “Some women dream of a man with a great physique who will sweep them off their feet and take them to fancy places just like it is done in those soaps. But a real man can’t be that perfect, that’s why people say that dating nowadays has become complicated, yet it’s them who make things complicated,” she adds. Kabatesi also says that it is hard for anyone to measure up to something that was planned to amuse viewers but then again, one can’t blame someone because the world today is full of stuff that’s really hard to understand. And it influences people in ways they are not even aware of. Ritah Akaliza is of the view that soap operas are not even close to what really happens in life, especially if one puts them in the African context. She says, “These soap operas highly differ from our cultural beliefs and customs, for example, they literally emphasise sexual relations before marriage which is highly unspoken of in our culture. “Also they depict divorce as a matter that should be rushed into without prudence. So in my opinion, kids exposed to them at a young age may not have the patience to maintain a healthy relationship.” For Nathan Shema, watching television soaps has never crossed his mind and he is not a fan because to him, they not only waste one’s time, but corrupt the mind too. “I have never been a fan of these soap operas; they waste time and also corrupt people’s perceptions of relationships. Women subconsciously believe that the perfect man has to be six feet tall, muscular and has to take their breath away every single day for the rest of their lives,” Shema states. He adds that such is only seen in these movies but what happens in real life is totally different and people should understand that. Arnold Bushara, a pharmacist, says that the fantasy one gets from their favourite shows subconsciously drives one into the wrong perception of love or even marriage. “Women expect their men to have a touch of Salvador (popular character in Spanish soap opera ElCuerpo del Deseo) in them or even emulate him.What amazes me is that most people are aware that these stories are fictional yet they still have an influence on their mood,” he says. Bushara advises people to understand that television romance rarely displays the true image of relationships and that “happily-ever-after” ending is mostly a faked notion. Frank Matsiko says that these soap operas affect women more than men. “Women who are fond of watching these soaps are brainwashed into thinking that they will find a man who will wine and dine with them every day. You meet someone and they have very unrealistic expectations of a relationship,” Matsiko says. He advises women to always watch such series with one foot in and another out so as to stop themselves from being brainwashed. “In my opinion women should watch these soaps with an understanding that they are mostly fiction, this will help them separate reality from fantasy,” he adds. Fictional romances rarely show the tolerance, compromise and hard work that holds a relationship together. People should always enjoy their favourite shows but not let them be the depth of what happens in their daily lives. editorial@newtimes.co.rw YOUR VOICE: Are soap operas influencing real life relationships? Praise Mutesi, sales person Praise Mutesi I don’t think soap operas can influence a person’s perception of romance, mainly because the majority of people are aware that the scenes are fictitious, and far from reality. People are enlightened on how those movies are made and their aim. And I believe many people don’t apply what they see on television to real life, since they know it’s just exaggerated romance. Ronald Athanase, singer and sales person Ronald Athanase It’s true. Soap operas have seriously influenced people’s perception of romance. Though people are aware that most of the scenes in those soaps are actual fiction, they still choose to copy and emulate the trend, style and romantic lives of their favourite characters. Remy Mugabo, artist Remy Mugabo The appealing characters, scenes and life style in those series are greatly influencing people’s behaviour towards real life relationships. The urge to follow in the footsteps of their favourite soap characters blinds them from seeing the difference between reality and fiction. Maurice Boshya, IT specialist Maurice Boshya Definitely not, people are smart enough to keep their romance authentic. People who love these soaps are aware that the scenes are meant to entertain. Everyone knows that they are not based on reality. Compiled by Dennis Agaba
