Billy Rosa Moving on to the next part of the integrative health and wellness assessment, we take an in-depth look at relationships and how they contribute to or detract from our overall sense of wellbeing. Sometimes we may see relationships as fixed aspects of our lives that“are the way they are,” not realising that these partnerships in life have the potential to provide us with the support, mental and emotional nourishment, and feelings of joy that we spend so much time looking for. Beyond what we get, they give us precious opportunities to give of ourselves intimately, to be of service to others through our presence and openness, and to contribute to another’s life as only we can in our own unique and meaningful ways. There are certain assumptions we can consider that open our minds to new possibilities in our relationships. These assumptions help us understand the effects of our relationships on our happiness and our health. They can also guide us in creating positive change and lasting contentment in how we relate to the world. To begin with, let’s assume that we simply do not exist outside of relationship. Every aspect of the day revolves around how we relate to our families and friends and colleagues, and also how we relate to the traffic, our jobs, and the news of the day. We build a construct of how we see the world – safe or unsafe, friendly or unfriendly, loving or fearful – based on these relationships. When we don’t acknowledge the world as something we relate to, we grow a fixed idea of “that’s how life is” and we succumb to the circumstances all around us, losing power and our own sense of authenticity. When we honor our daily lives as being centered in relationship, we can create new options for ourselves and change – quite literally – how the world shows up! Second, let’s assume we are fully responsible for our relationships. Truly. 100%. A radical idea! This can be hard to swallow because we human beings love to assign and appropriate blame. But, in the end, we are fully responsible for training people how to communicate with and treat us… responsible for the happiness or lack thereof between ourselves and others… and responsible for how we deal with disagreements, challenges, and upsets. When we claim responsibility, we are not freeing others of their faults and offenses, but we honor our own ability to effect peace and the change we wish to see in our relationships. Lastly, let’s assume that no matter what has or has not happened, what someone has done or not done, what they have said or not said – relationships can always grow and mature. Relationships urge us to try on new ways of being, challenging us to be our best selves at any given moment. Our health is reliant on countless factors, but the wellbeing of our relationships is high on the list. We can start by learning to recreate how we relate. Billy Rosa is a Registered Nurse, Integrative Nurse Coach
