What your Facebook profile says about you

It is safe to say that most of us are putting a lot about ourselves on the internet (arguably, too much). So when it comes to a job search, hiring managers can do a quick Google search, check out your social profiles, and learn a good deal about you. But did you know they might be able to find out more than what you had for lunch, where you vacationed last and what your favourite TV show is? Today, we take a look at some of the many characters you find on Facebook and what their page activity says about their personality. Where do you fall? The habitual ‘status updater’ “Awake now”,“ I love my morning tea”,“Stuck in traffic”,“This rain!”. These are just some of the things that shouldn’t be on Facebook. No one wants to read a status update from the same person every two minutes, it doesn’t matter how interesting you think your life is. That’s what Twitter is for. In reality, such people come off as bored – seriously lacking something valuable to do and live for Facebook. Anyone who can update their status at 3am talking about insomnia or an unknown reason for being awake can’t be serious with life at all. The pessimist This one never has anything kind to say. They rant and bicker like they are being paid to do so. Their comments on other people’s posts almost always leave someone angry. They don’t understand that if you have nothing kind to say don’t say anything at all. In reality, they are hostile. A whole island named after them wouldn’t impress them. They get a rush from making others as miserable as they are. You will never understand this one even if you try because their negative energy is almost suffocating. The one with an opinion Instead of starting a blog where they can air their endless views, this one chooses to educate us on Facebook as if we don’t know where to find the news. When something happens in the world, these are the first people to let you know their opinion on the situation. What’s worse is that the opinion is always too long; you would think they are rewriting the Bible and secondly, the opinion lacks proper research and when corrected on some statements, they jump into an argument like it’s a political debate. In reality, these ones can’t discuss anything without trying to indicate that they know better – yet they don’t. A know-it-all always kills everyone else’s energy. The love birds I think we all have those couples on our friend list who insist on rubbing their love in our faces. They post pictures and status updates that go like “Bae and I chilling” or “My sweetheart at the zoo.” On a birthday, they will express love like you’ve never known it, thanking their better half for the wonderful years they’ve had together and how they wait for the rest of their lives with great anticipation. In reality, the phrase ‘I love you’ has never really been exchanged verbally between them, it is something only mentioned via Facebook because they are trying to show everyone just how much in love they are. Some of these ones can’t be trusted;they will send the most ballistic message to a spouse on Facebook while on the way to see a ‘side dish’! The invite enthusiast ‘Like this and save a dolphin’, ‘Sign my petition’, ‘Play candy crush’, ‘Which movie actor are you?’ Facebook is for socialising and chatting with friends – I think most people will agree that the individuals who insist on inviting their entire friend list to play games and quizzes are by far the most annoying. You open notifications hoping to find something sensible, only for your panel to be filled with invites to play games best suited for 7-year-olds. The petitions are simply for disguise, to make people think they actually care about something other than games. In reality, these ones spend most of the day doing absolutely nothing but installing games, apps and quizzes on their phone. The ‘selfie’ addict These ones are not going anywhere anytime soon. They will post picture after picture of themselves till you feel they deserve an award for it. They are also fond of using hash tags, for example, #myperfectlife, #lifeisgood, #holidaythings etcetera. As adorable as some of these selfies might be,just once you’d like to log onto Facebook and not find their picture. In reality, these ones are so self-absorbed, the world could end and they still won’t notice because they are too busy taking pictures of themselves. They are true attention seekers these ones and assume that everything is about them. The silent one They never post anything - not a picture or comment will you see. Many people assume they even closed their account until one day when you are having a conversation with them and they talk about what you posted. They scan Facebook quietly. In reality, what you see is what you get with these ones. They are people of few words, in fact, the more invisible they are to people, the better. In other words, attention is not something they like. The friend request sender How does one have over 1000 friends on Facebook? Do you actually know all these people? See, there are people who get a kick out of friending everyone on Facebook. If they see a funny comment of yours on a friend of a friend’s post, they will send you a request. Should you accept (for your own reasons obviously) the same individual will post on your wall thanking you for accepting their friend request! Who does that? And after reading the thank you message with intolerable typos and misspellings, you even rethink accepting the request. In reality, these ones want to be ‘friends’ with everyone; they chat and share more than they have to with people they have known for barely five minutes. They will insist on giving you their number even when it is obvious you’d rather not have it. Out of sheer irritation, should you accept and make the tragic mistake of giving them yours (with every intention of blocking them immediately), they will immediately send you a WhatsApp message thanking you for giving them the number. The one who knows no discretion With this one, nothing is out of line. They will air dirty laundry when ‘beefing’ with someone, post the most personal of pictures and even share perplexing stories of people they know. Their status updates and pictures make you wonder if they have parents or relatives on Facebook. In reality, these ones are gossipers, and enjoy a juicy story as much as they love passing it on. They also have a habit of pissing people off with some of the inappropriate things they say and they rarely have any regard for other people’s feelings. They are a pain to be around. The diehard follower These ones are the most emotional on Facebook. If there is news about a loved celebrity, they will immediately become their spokesperson. If you disagree with that celebrity’s actions, keep it to yourself for you will not win this one. Ask the guy who called socialite Kim Kardashian a prostitute! Feedback from Kardashian diehards almost left him dead –on social media! In reality, these ones literally live, breathe and eat E! Entertainment. Dare touch the remote and you could easily lose a finger. They want updates on their favourite celebrities every second and information of another nature is basically a death sentence. The preachers All status updates end with a Bible verse; they will post all kinds of holy pictures and verses from the Bible in photos. Don’t comment on their updates unless you are going to say ‘Amen’. In reality, some of these genuinely love the Lord and basically know no life outside prayer – yes, they are a bit of a bore, but who cares if it’s for God? Others, however, (and you know a phony when you see one) can’t even remember what the inside of a church looks like – but if posting about God is going to make people like the post, then God it is. The abbreviator It’s like they are incapable of writing a word in full. Any time spent in school is highly suspicious. They live for abbreviations like ‘lol’ (laughing out loud) or ‘smh’ (shaking my head) and can’t say anything tangible. So much they enjoy this cutting of words that they now type things like ‘dis’ (this), ‘bcz’ (because), ‘k’ (okay) and others of similar annoyance. Reading a post of theirs is harder than nailing glue to a tree. They also don’t believe in punctuation – there’s no time for that. About an essay-long post of unnecessarily abbreviated words, misspellings and no full stops or commas – imagine that! In reality, reading is not their thing.If you push them to, perhaps a tabloid (most likely in vernacular), talking about a celebrity’s latest scandal, is all they can accomplish. In fact, they usually switch off English TV programmes with speed unmatched. They can’t be bothered with grammar or spellings. They are much better off using sign language. And these are the very individuals who will laugh at the house help for saying “lice” instead of “rice”. The entrepreneur This one is always selling something. Their timeline is used strictly to market their stuff. There’s no time to share silly videos and pictures. Time is money – literally! In reality, these are the ones who truly understand what it means to be a businessperson. They use every second of everyday to sell something. They might have time to laze around, but why when they can make money instead? The parent Now, there are very many parents on Facebook but some are a little more excited about the concept than others. To be honest, there is nothing wrong with posting a picture of your child for your friends to see. But some people choke you with these pictures. Every other day, is a picture of a baby Peter who has grown a tooth, or is walking, or sitting, or eating, or playing, or sleeping – give it a rest already! In reality, these ones live for compliments. They enjoy being told just how adorable their kids are. And while there’s nothing wrong with that, you can only shower praise too many times. The joker Every time you log onto Facebook, you hope to find a post by them.They are funny, and with humour, you can never go wrong. Whether they are one liners or a not-so-lengthy escapade, this one’s posts are always on point. In reality, this one is the life of the party. A night out with them means laughter till your ribs ache. It is always pleasant to have them around. The copycat These ones live for other people’s posts. It’s almost like it’s a crime to come up with their own posts. All you see on their timeline is that they shared someone else’s status or photo – and sometimes shamelessly make it look like their own. In reality, expect nothing like innovation from these ones. Their creativity is as bleak as the weather in Kigali these days. Getting them to contribute to an idea is a lost cause. The philosopher These ones seem like they have it together. And why not? They do post other people’s inspirational words and in doing so, seem like they are passing on the information for others to follow suit. In reality, they understand inspiration when they see, read or hear it! A few strong words is all it takes to keep them going. editorial@newtimes.co.rw ****************************************** YOUR VOICE: Would you let your pre-teen join Facebook? Collins Ronald, researcher and business student Collins Ronald Yes I would. I believe that the young generation is influenced by their surroundings. They explore new things and want to fit in with their peer groups. I would let my child join Facebook and other social media sites because limiting him would eventually turn him into a liar, someone who does things behind my back because he is forbidden from something. In my opinion, parents should let their pre-teens join Face book, but under close watch to monitor their accounts. Christine Mutesi, sales person Christine Mutesi This is a generation where it’s not easy to limit your child from using the internet, mainly social networking sites like Facebook. Even if you prohibit them from joining such sites; because of the zeal and curiosity they have for such things; one way or the other, they always find a way to get access without your consent. In my opinion, I don’t see the reason of not allowing a child to explore what is in front of him. I think the best thing to do is to guide them on how to use such sites in an educational and productive way. Jennifer Rugeni, assistant director-Spiderman Games Centre Jennifer Rugeni I don’t think Facebook is a productive site for a pre-teen. Many people, especially teenagers and young adults, tend to post and share inappropriate things that I believe would be harmful for a growing child. They are influenced by friends, depending on what they share on their walls; influence that makes a pre-teen want to behave like an adult since he/she thinks it is cool. And this gives rise to insubordination cases and bad role models. Pre-teens should stick to educative websites that support their growth and healthy learning. Micheal Tangishaka, electrician Micheal Tangishaka In my opinion, a pre-teen is too young for the information and things shared on Facebook. At that age, a kid only needs information that boosts a healthy mind.I believe some of the information shared on Facebook can cause bias about things that surround them and affect their self-esteem in the long run. Compiled by Dennis Agaba

Lifestyle

What your Facebook profile says about you