Of Kwita Izina, Mani Martin and no water

It was a week of water shortages, Kwita Izina (of course), and a looming auctioneer’s axe on loan-defaulting small and medium-sized hotels. So we shall talk about those, beginning with the most significant – Kwita Izina. It was wrong for Mani Martin to wear all white for the ceremony, at which he was one of the live performers that entertained. Dude looked like he was headed to Dîner en Blanc. When you go to sing in honor of creatures as tough, formidable and physically coarse as gorillas, you don’t go like that. Mani Martin should have delved deep into the chaguwa markets of Biryogo in Nyamirambo and Kimisagara for appropriate stage costumes: Something like a pair of thick and grease-stained khaki overalls would do. He should have complimented this look with unkempt hair and a splattering of artificial teeth and a pair of tough old Vagabond or Dockers boots. Mani Martin should also not have bathed or applied deodorant for at least six days before the event. In its 11th year running, I think Kwita Izina should have by now inspired similar but smaller events on Rwanda’s social events calendar. For a start, the concept of gorilla naming can be duplicated to apply to the renaming of Irish potatoes. RDB can come up with the ambitious project to officially rename them from Irish potatoes to Rwandan potatoes or Kinigi potatoes. Kinigi potatoes sounds like the better option, and for obvious reasons: It is the only place in the world to which rich and obscenely privileged international tourists fly their jumbo jets for the sheer pleasure of catching spectacular aerial views of rich potato fields. A potato Kwita Izina in Kinigi would be very easy to pull off, since the village already hosts the gorilla Kwita Izina. It would have to be lined up among the host of activities that usually precede the main event. Here, the various ways in which Rwandans consume ibirayi would be proudly shown to the world. Brochette stands manned by the best muchoma boys would be erected to physically demonstrate to the world how well ibirayi pairs with brochettethat is laced with Akabanga for that tear-jerking killer punch. The other interesting news in the week was the subject of water scarcity in large parts of the city. There are two things I don’t understand about the water crisis: The first is why singer Mani Martin failed to take advantage of the situation to turn up for Kwita Izina without bathing and without brushing his teeth and without washing his clothes. Perhaps that would have made him claim at least a slight resemblance to the wild creatures he was singing about. Like Rafiki. The other thing that Chantal from Kimironko wants to understand about these water shortages is, and I quote her: “Where do those who sell it to us at Rwf300 or 500 per jerrycan get if from?”

Lifestyle

Of Kwita Izina, Mani Martin and no water