When graduation evokes joy and tears

This week, University of Rwanda will graduate over 8,000 students and since Monday when the week-long ceremonies began, Kigali pubs, restaurants and hotels have been a beehive of parties. It has been a time for families to reunite and celebrate their children’s achievement after a long and thorny journey. But is it worth spending on graduation parties? Sadik Ivan Mupenzi, who graduated from University of Rwanda College of Education on Monday, says it is in order to celebrate one’s success. “We go through a lot while at university and having a party is very befitting. It is one way of cooling off after many stressful years,” Mupenzi explains. Others like Daniel Niyonizeye, a graduate from Rukara College of Education, are even willing to borrow money to finance their parties. That is how much they value the successful completion of studies. “If I can’t afford a party then I can ask my friends to contribute or lend me some money for a graduation party. Very many people never manage to complete their studies so feasting after such an achievement is in order,” Niyonizeye explains. Samuel Turatsinzi, a businessman whose daughter has just graduated with a degree in education, says a graduation party is an opportunity to congratulate both the child and parent. “I have been paying tuition for my daughter for three years and she has not let me down so a party is necessary. Besides, if she gets a job, she will always support me,” Turatsinzi says. However, some people feel graduation parties are a waste of money. John Mutakubwa, a Masters student of Information Technology at Carnergie Mellon University, says it is better to invest that money in a small business than spend it on a lavish party. “A simple party for 100 people can cost a minimum of Rwf 500,000 yet the same amount can start a fairly good business,” Mutakubwa says, warning party enthusiasts that no one will remember them after the party if they have nothing solid to show. However, Estelle Mukabalisa, a parent, argues that much as graduation parties are necessary, it is improper to plan a party before confirming whether your child will actually graduate – and she has good reason to be cautious. Graduands arrive with their parents for the graduation ceremony in Gikondo on Monday.(All photos by Timothy Kisambira) When graduation day becomes sad day While most parents are over the moon because of their children’s academic achievements, Vallence Ndizeye, a parent of one of the ‘graduates’ is struggling to dry the stream of tears flowing down his face. Ndizeye, who until Monday thought his son was studying at university, was heartbroken when he learnt on graduation day that his beloved child last attended class two years ago. “I have been paying tuition and accommodation fees every semester for over three years and my son always gave me the impression that he was studying hard,” Ndizeye explains, adding that he had plans to throw a party for his child soon in celebration of that achievement. “I got suspicious when I didn’t see his name in the graduation book but he tried to allay my fears by arguing that his name had been mistakenly omitted. However I was a bit uncomfortable so I went to verify with the university management,” he says with tears in his eyes. Ndizeye says it was at that point that he learnt that his son had taken him for a ride for over two years. Ndizeye is not the only parent nursing wounds. Many more parents continue to experience similar frustrations caused by their children year-in-year-out. Why fail to graduate? Mukabalisa explains that getting involved in business while still in school can sometimes become disastrous to a student’s academic life. “If a student gets involved in business, it means they will most likely use tuition as capital. In the end, the student might fail to recover the money and quietly drop out of school,” she says. Other students fail to complete their university studies when they conceive unexpectedly. “A pregnant student has to juggle the two roles – student and mother- which is not easy. It is even worse if a girl gets pregnant in her final year because she can easily miss tests and exams,” says Georgina Nyirakizimana, a parent. According to Turatsinze, some students drop out of school because of parents’ indifference. “It is not enough to provide your child with tuition and accommodation, you need to visit them at their hostel and keep in touch with their friends otherwise they can easily veer off from the right course given the amount of freedom they have,” he explains. Experts speak out Professor James McWha, the Vice Chancellor of the University of Rwanda, says parents should follow up closely with the students and take nothing for granted. “If it is time for graduation, there are lists that are issued in the booklets and news pages. Parents should find all ways to go through these lists before making any celebrations,” McWha says. He adds that the university also puts in place certain requirements to ensure that only those whose names appear on the graduation lists can access graduation requirements. “The university can only provide gowns to people who have fulfilled the requirements and this is the first step in eliminating imposters,” McWha adds. Some parents, however, argue that it is hard to know whether their children are in school or on the graduation list since they cannot read and write. Professor James McWha addresses graduands and guests on Monday But Dr Marvin Mbassana, a lecturer at the University of Rwanda College of Business and Economics, advises them to seek the help of friends and relatives who can read and understand the workings of a university. “Parents spend a lot of money trying to educate their children. Some of these are peasants who do a lot within their means to meet the requirements. They should seek assistance from people who can read,” Mbassana says. Mbassana adds that when it comes to graduation parties, only those who appear on the list deserve the celebrations because their intentions are genuine. Georgie Iradukunda, a senior examination officer from the Institute of Certified Public Accountants of Rwanda, says parents should visit the university websites regularly to see the progress of their children. Unlike most people who advocate for close monitoring of children while at university, Damascene Niyongira, a parent, thinks otherwise. “As a parent I will play my role of ensuring that my child has everything they need to complete university but it is up to them to decide whether to attend class or not since they are not young. You cannot spoonfeed an adult.” Why do students lie to their parents? Erick Musafiri Boniface Onyango Erick Musafiri,a hairdresser at Kimironko When a child is dishonest, most times it is due to poor upbringing. If parents teach their children to be honest in life, they will never deceive their parents whatever the circumstances. Only then can a solution be found in case a child has challenges at university. Boniface Onyango, Principal Riviera High School Many parents hardly spare time to discuss or guide the child on career matters. They also find it difficult to follow up on a child’s progress with the school management. If a child is not performing well and realises this weakness, they will get involved in all sorts of things. Therefore parents should monitor their children closely. Josiane Umutoniwase Anitta Uwimana Josiane Umutoniwase, a Kicukiro resident Parents should always insist on looking at the grades of their child. They can ask the student for an update every semester and go ahead to verify those marks with the university management. This constant update will help parents guide their children better. Anitta Uwimana, a business woman at Kimironko The issue of the parents not providing their children with necessary academic requirements can contribute to a child’s decline academically. Consequently, their children will be tempted to lie to them. Patrick Siboringo Joel Mpayana Patrick Siboringo, a mechanic at Remera Students should be responsible enough to be honest to their parents about their progress at university. That way, parents will be able to identify what challenges they might be facing and find a quick solution. Parents should also avoid being harsh to their children because it would instill fear in them. Joel Mpayana, a parent of a student at UR Any parent who has a child in school should always be responsible. We, as parents, should take time to visit our children at university at least twice per semester. Parents should also talk to staff in the academic registrar’s office for more details.