One thing that is well known the world over about I and my not-so-well-behaved friends and gangos, is the fact that politics is generally not our cup of tea. Put more plainly, I and my not-so-well-behaved-friends and politics do not mix much. The reason for our not mixing a lot with politics is simply because politics is not easy. That said, we are not completely averse to politics, in that every once in a while we also take the time to contribute to the prevailing political debate and political trends of the day. However, one thing I jointly abhor with my gangos, is lengthy and laborious political discourse. I and my not-so-well-behaved friends share two traits that make it extremely hard, if not impossible to plunge into marathon political deliberations: we all have a low boredom threshold, coupled with equally low attention spans. What this can only mean is that whenever we decide to tread down the political way, we always endeavor to uphold the KISS rule of communication: Not that kiss your gutter mind is presuming it to be. That other kiss that is on your mind as you read this is strictly your private matter, so how the hell can you expect it to be the topic of dissection in Loose Talk? The KISS we feature here is actually an acronym for ‘keep it simple and short’. And yes, that is what it means to have a low attention span: when one is supposed to be discussing politics, but then veers off without any warning to the mundane business of kissing. So what are those things that I and my aforementioned friends like to periodically harp about in the realm of politics? Well, I already told you about how our attention spans are below average, which can only mean that we always cut out the chaff and only go for the wheat. Ever since it was discovered by my Rwandan clique of friends that I hail from Uganda, two key names have always dominated our loose political discourse: Presidents, Paul Kagame of Rwanda, and Yoweri Museveni of Uganda. When the talk is about H.E Paul Kagame, my Rwandan friends always make it a point to do perfect justice to the name –to roll it out loud, clear, and in full force: “Perezida Paul Kagame. Mzee wa Kazi. el numero uno”. Presidents aside, I and my gangos also enjoy to indulge in juicy gossip about the national armies of the different countries in the region: RDF for Rwanda; UPDF for Uganda, KDF for Kenya, and TPDF for Tanzania. As you can see, there is one national army from the region that did not make it to the list. That’s because that country’s national army’s name does not end in “Defense Forces” like all the above-mentioned. One friend recently claimed that that country’s national army is called “Imbonerakure”, but we immediately suspected that he was lying to us and promptly forced him out of our clique.
