Real men don’t apologize, and if they do, the apology should be delivered long overdue, and what’s more, it should come wrapped in ambiguity. An ill-informed, ill-researched LooseTalk edition of sometime in January this year went under the headline, “A trip to Jamaica”. In that particular LooseTalk, several wild accusations were leveled against the people from the “rainbow country” or the “islanders” as Jamaicans are referred to in some circles. One of those accusations was to the effect that, in the writers’ view at least, most Jamaican artistes are “not known to shy away from marijuana”. It was one among several accusations brought up against the natives of that land, and one that did more than just ruffle a few feathers. On the online version of this paper, several fire-laden comments would soon follow, directed at the writer: The first one, written by a one John, who claimed to have lived and worked in Jamaica, and therefore an expert on Jamaican life, happened to be so long, I started to doze hardly through the first paragraph. When penning Loose Talk, I do not engage my entire brain, the reason it’s called Loose Talk, and not Hard Talk. Also, I rarely spend more than twenty minutes penning a particular piece. Therefore it took me by surprise that someone could indeed dedicate an entire 69 paragraphs to condemn a half-witted, 20-minute stream-of-consciousness-ishmissive. In LooseTalk, if I say I’ve listened to three million reggae songs, I do not have to be obliged to give stone-concrete evidence that indeed one pair of human ears could have possibly listened to all of three million reggae songs. If anything, it’s only idlers who could possibly have such ample time. Since I’m not known to be an idler myself, I was forced to move over to the next agitated comment. A one rasclaat’s comments came laden with even more venom: “You are nothing but babylon shitstem product. Learn the history of Jamaica before you pen down the equivalent of what the western media has continued to portray Africa and Africans as. Self hatred, or petit bourgeois as Frantz Fannon would describe such blantant and monstrous characterization of Jamaica and its great people.” Well, sorry, in Loose Talk, there are no apologies because I write what I want. I don’t even need to apologize to my bosses because why should I? If the LooseTalk is deemed offensive and inappropriate, it is the duty of the boss to pull it down, or even block if from going to print in the first place. Now, if I can’t apologize to my bosses for errors of omission or commission that occur in Loose Talk, who are you to rant and rave? Do you pay me? Are you The New Times publications? Another time, Loose Talk appeared under the headline: “A guide to living in Kacyiru”, although in the article itself, there was hardly any mention of Kacyiru. People demanded an apology and, as usual, I refused to offer one. Now, as you can well see, that, precisely, is the essence of this column: to make money the easy, provocative way. If anything, who told you that you have a right to not be offended?
