Relationships: Should we go Dutch dating?

Many a times, young men on a date pay for their bills in the African culture. This is meant to show the care and affection that an ideal man is expected to display. As a man, you are expected to pay the bill without question and you will not discuss money openly at this stage. Money discussions are believed to be crass and lack sophistication. You are also entrusted to ensure that your date feels comfortable at all times and encourage their feelings of comfort if you detect any signals of being uncomfortable. You will also ensure that your date gets home safely in a cab. In the desire to impress, you will make an effort to dress well. There is absolutely no excuse to look bad. Poor dress sense shows laziness and will do nothing to promote you. Furthermore it shows a lack of respect for your date who has made an effort. You will also make an effort to be fresh and smell good. You should be smart, shaven, bathed and smelling very good. It costs nothing except a bottle of good quality cologne and some shower gel-all done in the name of dating. Paying the bill may be realistic since your date has been courteous and complimentary. She has made an effort for you and devoted some of her time to your personal opinions. However when this becomes a vice, then you should begin to worry. You are dating a gold digger. In most instances, you will always take care of the bill while she looks up the ceiling, commenting about the chandeliers, contending to throw you in frenzy after the waiter is bringing your change. You are expected to put on that smile that everything is taken care of all the time. I have seen many “men” go through this and it is quite an experience. True, it may be said that any man is expected to pay the bill all the time but I believe in this day and age, women should stop taking us for granted. Our counterparts elsewhere in the world have a different approach to such a dilemma with so much success. In this era of globalisation, I believe we should also borrow a leaf. A couple paying for their own bills or Dutch dating is an informal agreement for each person to pay for his or her own expenses during a planned date or outing. The decision is usually made in advance in order to avoid any confusion when the bill arrives or the tickets are purchased. Under certain social and financial circumstances, the idea allows larger groups of friends or co-workers to enjoy a night on the town without the worry of one host footing the entire bill. During a romantic dating situation, however, the suggestion may not be as well received in some cultures especially in Africa, even in Rwanda. Believe me others have tried it and they are smiling their way to the bank. It’s romantically economical. Many people agree to “go Dutch” as a tactful way to level the financial playing field. One friend may feel uncomfortable with the idea of another friend in better financial shape always footing the bill. When two or more people agree to pay their bill, each is free to spend within his or her personal entertainment budget. Ends