Valentine's Day: What to expect if your partner is...

They may love you every day and make an effort to put a smile on your face as often as they can, but that is no excuse to let Valentine’s Day pass quietly. So as you look forward to that special gift tomorrow, don’t scratch your head and imagine what he or she will give you. This week, Society Magazine team sought to ruin the surprise by hinting on what you are likely to receive from your partner depending on what they do for a living. A comedian This one will irritate you as early as 7am with jokes about Valentine’s Day. While you sit there wondering if there is a gift after the jokes, you will realise with utmost frustration that jokes are pretty much all you are going to get. During the day, you’ll be peeved further with text after text of Valentine’s Day quotes downloaded from the Internet. And just when you think you can’t take one more joke, they will show up at your workplace with a plastic red rose, and a note telling you to lighten up, and not take things too seriously! If you are lucky, expect a funny Valentine’s Day card from this one. A policeman Their days are unpredictable. They can’t guarantee that they will take you for a candle lit dinner in the evening. They can be summoned for duty any time; it would be safe to rule out a dinner surprise. If you’re lucky and he sees a nice Kitenge (African fabric) while on his routine work, he will buy it for you and come with it home depending on the time he will retire or he might send that motto guy who usually does home errands to buy some meat at the butchery to make sure that at home you enjoy a delicious meal. A soldier Soldiers come off as tough and fierce. Considering they have been through serious things like war, they will assume that there are bigger issues to worry about than Valentine’s Day. Before you try to throw a tantrum for not getting anything, remember the nights they spend enduring harsh conditions for the good of the country. On a good day, they might tell you to join them watch their favourite movie probably The Art of War, Saving Private Ryan, A few Good Men or the liberation struggle documentary among others. An I.T technician This one is great with the Internet and technology, so expect some “lovey dovey” applications installed on your phone that will give you a romantic update every 10 minutes. A bar tender The bar tender will most likely be at work since there will be customers. They will ask the boss to let them sign for drinks and food that will be deducted from the monthly salary just to make an impression. So while you sit there enjoying the drinks and food, have it at the back of your mind that you’re ‘eating’ things on credit. A politician There are very high chances that a politician doesn’t know that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Like a soldier, in their mind, there are bigger issues to worry about. So, take heart if your spouse spends the day at office looking through a heap of documents or giving a speech somewhere. If they do acknowledge the day, they will feel it is in their spouse’s best interests to escort them for a political meeting or spend the day at the firm. An entrepreneur The thing you have to understand about entrepreneurs is that they have worked hard to make their money. This means you can’t just be playing around with it; expecting expensive gifts every other “special” day. However, a typical entrepreneur will probably give you something out of their own shop. For example, if they are into fashion and have a boutique or two around town, expect one of their best Kitenge’s or sandals. Naturally, the hardware guy will find a way to fix that rim on your tires that you’ve been complaining about. A true business mind will find ways to spoil you, without actually placing their money elsewhere! And if you are dating a florist –well - I think it’s clear what you’ll get. You will get flowers but after he has delivered all the orders from his clients. Business first! A pastor Pastors are known to take these days very seriously, so expect only the best. Yes, this means a lavish bouquet of the wife’s favourite flowers along with a box of heart shaped chocolates and a card that can’t say enough just how deep in love he is. There might even be a romantic trip for two to some exotic island somewhere, if they have the money of course. As for the female pastor, she too will go for an expensive tie and cufflinks; perhaps her husband’s favourite cologne. And yes, there will be the romantic dinner later at some expensive hotel because a home cooked meal doesn’t quite stress the point. A night watchman (askari) Considering that they spend most of their nights wide awake and out in the cold, it is safe to say that, should they be given the night off on Valentine’s Day, the only thing an askari will be interested in is a cozy night indoors. This means they are not concerned about going to shops looking for gifts; and that means they will be getting you absolutely nothing. Just a cuddle in bed and some warm covers will be the ultimate gift – to them! You have to be really bold to expect something from this one. A DJ There is no doubt that a DJ’s ultimate valentine gift would be CD with a collection of your favourite songs. Yes, all those slow love songs you love so much will be on it. Besides they might be working on Valentine’s, so they might spend the night with you behind the decks. If it’s a club, probably revelers will give him free drinks which he will share with you and of course you won’t pay entrance at the club. Your spouse is the DJ of the night. A farmer You know the biblical story of how Abel would only offer his finest animals to God as a sacrifice? A farmer with nothing but love for their spouse would certainly look for the best from the farm to surprise the loved one. He will order for his favourite turkey to be slaughtered just for you. A journalist If there is one thing journalists are known for, it is their love for free things. Things like free dinners at 5 star hotels, drinks and gifts or trips abroad are their cup of tea. Therefore, be skeptical when they take you for dinner at Kigali Serena Hotel on Valentine’s Day, for they might walk out without paying the bill. There is a high possibility that they are there to cover an event or someone gave them a coupon. Either way, they won’t pay a franc! As for gifts, they will boldly give you a Val’s Day pen and notepad with a company branded on them or goodies and wine that were left overs at an event they were covering. Don’t be offended, it’s the thought that counts. A teacher Teachers, as we all know are under paid. Under no circumstance should you frown when the best they come up with is a diary and pen! Perhaps it’s their love for giving notes, but this gift should be received with utmost gratitude, for teachers appreciate the smaller things in life, like good-old jotting down of things. A doctor Doctors have the most unpredictable schedule. They can be called in for duty at any time. So be prepared for uncertainties. They will walk out on you during your dinner date to go and attend to an emergency and no one wants to sit at a table alone on Valentine’s Day. Because of a doctor’s round the clock schedule, they are always tired from a hectic shift at the hospital. They will possibly pick a flower or two on their way home but only because there’s a florist shoving red roses in their faces at every corner. They will also pray that you do not insist on anything special because they really could use the rest. Very many marriage proposals have been made on Valentine’s Day. (Net photo) A musician Musicians are romantic. They will compose a song just for you on Valentine’s Day. You’ll have a front row seat at a concert they have that day, and they will sing the song for you without a care in the world. But because they have a wide fan base, the flowers they send you might come from a fan or secret admirer. Because they have been paid in advance for the show, expect gifts such as an expensive watch or jewelry. An athlete This one will definitely take you out for a “romantic” jog in the evening. That package you receive in the morning, yes, expect a pair of sneakers and a tracksuit, for exercise is just as romantic to these ones as flowers and candy. A chef By chef, we are assuming it is at a decent restaurant. If it is one of those “mama something” joints, expect the same lousy food you eat every day. However, cuisine chefs who prepare course meals you can’t even pronounce will most likely (if they are off that day) whip up something in your own kitchen that you will not forget in a long time. If they cannot secure the day off, worry not, that is what take-away packages are for, they will send you this delicious food at work or carry it home, so make sure the micro-wave works. A student Very few students have jobs, this means, it is wrong to expect a gift from someone who doesn’t have a job. They basically survive on their pocket money. And by February 14, you can be sure that they are hanging by a thread. Chances are high that all they will give you on Valentine’s Day is their sincerity. This could be in a heartfelt love letter or card, a fake rose or if you are really lucky, a picture of the two of you in a cute frame written on “love always.” A lawyer If you have dated them long enough, you know that they do not go down easy, especially when they are in the wrong. They will forget the day altogether because of a case they are working on, then try to justify it with the fact that they don’t need one day to prove how much they love you. Of course the argument will not be complete until they ask you to read out a written statement on what the day ought to represent exactly. Good luck with this one. A pilot It is said that pilots are allowed at least two free air tickets a year for their close friends and family. It is not certain how true this is, but let’s assume it is. If you are with one, then they might spend a ticket on you. Dust your passport; you might be travelling this Valentine’s Day to some relaxing destination. An artist If you’ve watched Titanic, then you know that scene where Jack drew a picture of Rose. Romantic, right! The beauty about visual artists is that with a blank canvas and pencil, they will make your day. If you are going out with one, you are likely to receive an artistic piece of yourself. But beyond the image, the piece will try to tell a story, say about your past, or what they hope will be your future… The banker Bankers form the bulk of the corporate class which includes people working for telecom firms, NGOs and multi-national agencies. The corporate class behaves like Valentine’s is the only day they have to show love. They will litter the town with red, buy flowers and chocolate which will be delivered before close of day. If you are dating a corporate and you don’t send them chocolate or flowers, your relationship might be no more by Monday. They don’t care whether you steal to buy the chocolate or flowers - where you get them and how, is none of their business. editorial@newtimes.co.rw

Lifestyle

Valentine's Day: What to expect if your partner is...