How to deal with poor listening skills

Nelson Mwesigye In our past interaction we have seen the power of effective listening. However, it’s also necessary to know when we are not listening effectively, how best to overcome it and how to help our listeners to overcome these challenges. Poor listening skills result in ineffective communication, which will usually have an adverse impact on the productivity of the individual, the team and the organisation. Here you can find some barriers to effective listening and get tips for dealing with them. Effective communication is a valuable skill in the workplace, and listening properly is the most important part of effective communication. a) Prejudice Prejudice is a preconceived opinion of feeling, which is usually irrational. Prejudice is very dangerous and has the potential to bring animosity into the team and to break team spirit. The reason for a prejudice may be the speaker’s race, religion, age or appearance. A prejudiced person will not make any effort to listen and understand. Overcoming prejudice while listening Respect the other person for his or her knowledge and skills, irrespective of the person’s background. Make conscious efforts to take charge of your thoughts. Consciously avoid taking an “I know what he or she is going to say” attitude while the other person is speaking. b) Distractions The four main types of distractions are physical, mental, auditory and visual. Here’s how to avoid this common barrier: a) Face the person who is speaking. b) Maintain eye contact while the other person is speaking. c) Ensure that you are comfortable. d) Switch off the cell phone. e) Expecting others to share your personal beliefs and values Everybody has their own personal beliefs and value systems, and it’s natural to want to apply them to others around us. Learn to appreciate that others don’t have to share your beliefs. In fact, their unique perspectives may shine light on problems and issues that you haven’t been able to deal with before! c) Misunderstanding The inability to hear correctly is one of the many reasons for misunderstanding what a speaker is trying to communicate. You may think that it’s impolite to ask the speaker to clarify his words or intentions, but that’s not the case at all. Most people will appreciate the fact that you are making a focused effort to really understand what they are trying to say. d) Interrupting Interrupting a conversation with improper body language or inappropriate words will have a negative impact in effective communication. You can avoid this barrier to effective listening by listening without interrupting while the other person is speaking. If you seek to clarify something, use appropriate body language such as raising your hand or ask politely for more details (like “I am sorry to interrupt you...”). e) Faking Attention The person who is faking attention is just “hearing” but not “listening.” There may be some eye contact and the person may even be nodding, but the mind is elsewhere. The person may be thinking about what to have for lunch or what to wear for the party that evening. Faking attention is a habit for some people, but it conveys lack of respect and dishonesty. Try these tips: Make it a habit to listen attentively. It is advisable to assume that the other person knows something that you may not know. Avoid thinking about how to reply when the other person is speaking. This habit can be overcome by taking notes while the other person is speaking. f) Bringing in Emotions Emotions erect barriers to effective communication. A listener’s senses are not likely to be functioning at their optimum level when he or she is angry. Likewise, it is not possible to understand or appreciate what the speaker is saying if the listener is excessively sad. Tip: It is better to avoid conversations when you are angry or excessively sad. g) Noise Noise is any unwanted sound. It is a great impediment to clear communication. It is impossible to listen in a noisy environment — it becomes a frustrating experience for both the speaker and the listener. Try to avoid conversations in noisy surroundings. Eliminate the source of noise whenever possible. Turn off cell phones, radios and television sets. h) Fear Fear is a great barrier to listening. People who are afraid during a conversation are not likely to listen. They become defensive and tend to argue. Tips to overcome fear Be aware that fear can only worsen the situation. Listen to what the other person is about to say without fear. Keeping calm will give you mental strength to face any situation. Taking a deep breath helps in overcoming fear. Great leaders are good listeners. Effective listening is a valuable skill that helps team members achieve their goals efficiently and improves productivity. This skill is necessary to stay competitive in the current global scenario. Implementing the above mentioned tips will definitely help in improving listening skills. It is possible with self examination and self discipline. Points to note a) Think before you speak, and don’t speak if you have nothing important to contribute. b) Practice self-control. Allow the other person to speak. c) Avoid interrupting when the other person is speaking. d) Be aware of indulging in useless talk for the sake of talking. e) Be brief while conveying your thoughts. f) Observe your listener’s reactions while speaking. I hope that with these tips we shall be good listeners this year. Happy New Year. The writer is the coordinator of languages at Kigali Institute of Management

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How to deal with poor listening skills