For millennia people have had problems with their noses but not to the scale of modern day man and woman. Yes I am talking about that protruding thing on your face. The Criminal Belgian colonialists thought the length or otherwise of the nose was a physical sign for aristocracy and social class; so they moved with Vernier calipers measuring the noses of Rwandans. Their warped brains sowed the seeds of Genocide as later PARMHUTU murderers simply looked at one’s nose and by that decided the fate of an individual. During the infamous expulsion of ethnic Banyarwanda from Uganda in the early 1980s the trio of Uganda Peoples’ Congress (UPC) stalwarts of Tiberondwa , Rwakasisi and Rurarangaranga made a decree to the effect that anyone with a nose like that of dog should be expelled and those with noses like those of cats should be left alone. Many people lost their lives and property during their statelessness between the Republic of Rwanda, which was “full” and could not accommodate all of its nationals and Uganda, which could no longer accommodate ‘troublesome’ Rwandans. One of the criterions for choosing the victims was looking at one’ noses. One self styled pop king decided that one of the many things he needed to change about himself was the nose. So to the nose butcher he went and his nose has not been the same since. The poor” king” underestimated the trouble the nose can cause and now he keeps his nose in his pocket and himself to himself. The nose! Before the invention of the mirror, Artists would flatter their clients by drawing portraits of enhanced nasal features and the poor fellows would be puffed up in false pride. One such client could not believe such flattery and had the artist’s hand chopped off for disloyalty to him when his wife told him the truth about the real shape of his nose. The creator made the nose to face the ground to show its lowly position but people have lately rediscovered it and now they, in a bid to make it acceptable to others, fulfill the allegory of a golden ring in a swine’s snout (not ear). Why misallocate that resource? The nose will remain a nose and a source of trouble. You see body organs pick diseases from the environment but the nose is unparalleled in this area. Boxers know where to punch and score; the nose of course. There is one nose I will punch and flatten without remorse; after all it is a nose. Some Rwandans have a propensity to call names and hurl insults at their subordinates and others they consider themselves superior to. This I have promised myself; anyone who will call me names his/her nose I will flatten. To be fair to yourself, before you poke your nose in other people’s business make sure you know how people feel about it and I can assure you no one wants it.Blame it on the nose. Ends
