How do you connect with others?

Last week I wrote about the need for young people to know who they are and how they can be guided to use their energy constructively to achieve their full potential. This week I would like to share with you information regarding the skill of knowing and living with other people. Some of you do not relate well with other people and you forget that you need the support of others to excel. It is after knowing who you are that you can be able to connect with other people in a meaningful way. This is a skill that you have to develop. As a young person, you should live harmoniously with other people at school and in your community. What are the components of this skill? Creation of genuine friendship You should develop the ability to create genuine friendship with your peers. Your interaction should be characterised by offering constructive support to one another in order to achieve your goals. This implies that you should have certain guidelines that define your friendship. Do not befriend others for purposes of making them degenerate into bad guys. Society is not for bad guys. As a responsible friend you should have the ability to help those whose behaviour is unbecoming to reform and the best way of doing it is by talking to them openly and showing them that they are likely to face terrible consequences as a result of their misdeeds. It is very wrong for you to look on as your friends continue to misbehave. You are better placed to correct them because they listen to you more than any other person. Peer resistance I urge you to develop the skill of being able to resist temptations from your peers who may want to drag you into bad activities like drug abuse, premature sexual relationships, disobedience and violence. Evil is highly contagious and if you do not resist it in its various forms, you can easily ruin your life. I have observed many students who make themselves slaves to their friends by doing whatever they encourage them to do without reflecting on the repercussions. If you attach high value to yourself, you know that whenever you indulge yourself in bad acts, you lose that value. Interpersonal relationship You should be able to connect with other people who may be very useful to you but when they are not necessarily your friends. For instance, you need the support of teachers to achieve your career dreams. If you keep offending them, you hurt their feelings and in case you experience a problem which requires their support, you may feel shy to meet them. Much as teachers may not be your friends, you need them for your own good. You should respect them because they are your torch-bearers. Respect for other people’s views Different people have different opinions about the various aspects of life. Do not expect that the people around you will always agree with your opinions and whenever they disagree with you, it does not mean that they hate you. If your teacher disagrees with you on issues regarding your studies, it means that as a professional in the field of education, he believes that if you do not change the way you handle your studies, you may fail. So, when you take the advice in good faith, you gain a lot but if you keep arguing with him unnecessarily, you are bound to lose. Respect for other people’s views helps a lot in conflict resolution. By acknowledging that some of your opinions may not be reasonable enough, you are able to reconcile with those that you may be in conflict with. Therefore, you should connect with other people to achieve your aspirations and make society a better place for everyone. The writer is a teacher of English Language and Literature