The hazards of handouts

I think I narrated to you how I was one of the many people who have benefited from access to education over the past 20 years. I entered SFB as a mature student and my sponsor was none other than Aggrey himself. He not only paid my school fees but also took care of my ever thirsty throat. It was therefore not entirely surprising when I one day invited my SFB classmates for a serious binge at Caimen! It was a Friday evening. I assumed that since Aggrey was the sole source of thirst quenching answers, I decided that the whole SFB gang would drink at will and that Aggrey would pay up! But I needed to find a convincing way of getting him to pay the bills. So, here we were at Caimen drinking ourselves silly. There is no need of mentioning how hungry looking these guys were. Therefore, goat ribs and limbs were not spared at all. We chewed like there was no tomorrow. I was hoping that Aggrey would turn up at around 7pm. I was rehearsing what I would whisper in Aggrey’s ear when he finally arrived at Caimen. I was supposed to whisper the following words; “My friend Aggrey, I have never been surprised all my life! I do not know how these guys got to know that I was here! These guys are my classmates and they somehow thought that I was loaded with cash! Please for the last time, bail me out”. These are the words that I thought would convince Aggrey when he arrived. But as things evolved, it was no longer a question of “when” Aggrey would arrive. It was now a question of “if” Aggrey would arrive at all! Aggrey was nowhere to be seen. He was supposed to meet me at Caiman not later than 7pm. However, it was fast approaching 9pm and Aggrey’s cell phone was switched off. As time passed by, the doses of alcohol being consumed by the classmates increased. And thanks to the mobile phones, my classmates were sending SMSs to any Tom, Dick and Harry. In their messages, they were like; “Guys, if you do not know what is happening here then you do not live in Kigali! Diaspoman is showering us with booze and brochettes. Join in men!” So, as I continued to wait for Aggrey, more SFB students flocked in. They came in pairs! As they settled in, the guys ordered for whiskies whereas the ladies ordered for Amarula. The Caimen waiters were being overwhelmed by the number of orders that were coming in. All I could do was just sit and wait. And pray of course! I was hoping for a miracle to drop by! This miracle would be none other than Aggrey himself. But he was not forthcoming and I sensed real trouble. I had to devise strategies. That is why I decided to become an instant actor. I asked one of the zonked SFB students to lend me his necktie. Then I borrowed a coat from another classmate. Finally, I borrowed a pair of reading glasses. I then quickly dressed up in the tie and coat before majestically walking towards the Caimen counter. I boldly asked for the bills. I perused through with my borrowed spectacles. I looked at the waiter and gave him a serious wink. I then proceeded to sign the bills. With all the confidence you can think of, I inscribed Aggrey’s names and telephone number. I then ordered the waiters not to release any more drinks. My eyes were suffering because of the borrowed spectacles. I told myself that there was no gain without pain. I then turned around and walked towards the exit area. My heart was pounding vigorously because I thought that the waiters would come to their senses and come chasing after me. Nothing happened. I just moved on. I convinced myself that I’d rather be rebuked by Aggrey when he discovers what I did than being nabbed by the Caimen security guys. That showed me that relying on handouts can be very hazardous! By the time I sneaked out, the SFB students were singing out; “SFB oye, SFB oye!” The SFB they were referring to was none other than; Special Frothy Beers…