Ego is the perception of self in relation to outside. Swiss psychologist Sigmund Freud said it is a component of the mind with which one relates to others. But for me, “ego” simply means exaggerated, grand, opinion of self. If that exaggerated opinion remains limited to the mind of the person, fine. But when it starts affecting other people, it creates problems. Ego, a seemingly simple feeling, creates many problems to those around us. Consider a family. All members live in harmony, following and obey a senior member to maintain discipline. Then a member develops ego problems. He starts rebelling and tries to dictate his own terms. This creates chaos and infighting in the family, loss of discipline and peace. Ego problems between husband and wife are the main cause for marital disharmony and number of divorcees. In office, if the boss is an egoist, he remains aloof from his employees. He does not communicate with them much, considers their problems as excuses for not doing work and their demands as exaggerated. The consequences which follow can be one or more than one of the following–the skilled employees switch over to another job at the first opportunity. Replacing a person is not difficult. But an experienced hand is an asset for any organisation while new ones will be a liability as they take time to get acquainted with the system of working. Those unable to change start getting frustrated and loose interest in work. Gradually, they fail to put in their best at work. On the part of the boss, they remain lonely in spite of their position and power. A boss will lack true friends and well wishers if their ego is inflated, because they would be surrounded by sycophants. In case of a subordinate employee having a big ego, situation becomes more difficult. This person always think they are excellent and not get their due. They do not cooperate with colleagues, argue with the superiors and want to do things their way. Both these types of scenario are not pleasant and spoil the peace of the office. Office is a place where one spends eight to 10 hours of the day, five to six days a week. A vitiated atmosphere becomes stressful for both employees and the bosses. Thus all are exposed to risk of developing hypertension, cardiac problems and other stress related health problems. At a higher level, it is well known that for centuries wars have been fought to satisfy the ego of some person ruling the country or masses. People of any nationality or community live in peace and harmony, with one another. They are instigated to fight and kill one another because of the ego of some leader. In no situation is an egoist person loved or appreciated. People may be taken in temporarily by his boasting or airs but very soon his true self is exposed. Why do people have an inflated ego? In some people it is due to lack of self confidence, which they try to hide by bossing over others. Over confidence may be the cause for exaggerated egos in some persons. Just because of some skill they have, they regard others to be morons whom they have come to salvage. Some weak-minded people get carried away by false praises. Exaggeration of self is also a psychiatric disorder in which the person is removed from reality and has delusions of grandeur. Great men of the world who are still revered like Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela et al are known for their humility. All human beings are interdependent on one another for their very existence, whether one accepts it or not. Doctors, farmers, cleaner, cooks, engineers, teachers, all are needed in a society. A rich man would need grains grown by a farmer, milk brought in by milk man, helpers to help around in the house and at work. So it is better that instead of showing superiority, they acknowledge the help. If all shed their egos, learn to appreciate and respect others, what a wonderful and peaceful place the world will become? Dr Pande is a specialist in internal medicine, Ruhengeri Hospital
