Are you happier single or in a relationship? (I don’t want any emotional baggage)

When this debate was suggested, I couldn’t resist the urge to explain just how easier it is to be single. Now, this shouldn’t be some sort of consolation to single people or me, but rather a closer look at life when a person is actually not involved with anyone and has all the liberty to indulge in whatever they want. One of my favourite writers, Qian Zhongshu said: “Marriage is like a fortress besieged: those who are outside want to get in, and those who are inside want to get out”. This quote resonates well with people who are in any kind of a relationship. Reality sets in when it turns out to be more of a stress factor than a relief. What’s with all the compromise and controlling that comes with relationships? In a relationship an individual basically has to live two lives, theirs and their partner’s. Society will always look down on single people and judge anyone who clocks 30 and is not married. Stories about their sexual orientation or how they might be cursed start going around like it’s anyone’s business. People in relationships have a lot of baggage with them, constant burst-ups with their partners; fear of getting heartbroken and always having to consider the partner before making certain decisions. I remember like two years ago in Uganda, there was a story of a secondary school girl who stabbed her boyfriend after she saw him dancing with another girl at a school party. I’m yet to hear about someone who committed suicide because they are single. Most heroes achieved their dreams at the expense of their families because certain things can’t be achieved with a relationship in the picture. People usually confuse being single with being lonely which is so wrong. Life as a single person is never dull unless an individual chooses so because many people in relationships at times want to party, go on trips, have sleepovers but can’t. Reason? My boo will not allow it. What is that? Besides, aren’t people breaking-up like the world is about to end? Relationships are more like an experimental exercise where people prove how much they can endure the silent “torture” that is a relationship. Human beings don’t want to feel controlled, worried or get disappointed as they slowly get to understand their partner’s behaviours. Whereas people in relationships might claim to be happier, the emotional baggage that comes with it can only be soothed with constant sex of which single people might not get on a regular basis.