Parenting and performance

I took great delight on the weekend past to congratulate one of my former students of S6 who has won himself a scholarship to study Civil Engineering at New York University, Abu Dabai. The scholarship is worth $280,000 but wait… there’s more. The student joins his older sister who also won the same scholarship only a year earlier. I said to the proud parents we need to take some of their blood samples since there must be a special academic gene or DNA we all need. In fact, there is no such thing as an academic gene. Some students work hard simply because they are hard workers. There is something special however about the parents — it is called good parenting. Quality parenting throughout a student’s life has a lot to do with a student’s academic success and attaining academic excellence. When I say parent I also mean a guardian, aunty or that person who invests time, nurture, wisdom and advice into a young person. As you read on, I imagine some of you may be thinking that’s all well and good for well off kids and well off families who can afford private schooling. Sorry to burst that idea but I have seen and experienced similar things happen to poor kids, orphaned kids — kids from rural government schools. Parents, circumstances and good advice instilled in these kids is the common denominator to hard work, self-direction, intrinsic motivation, determination and goal setting. The parents of the sister and brother who find themselves together at New York University don’t have rich parents. They have parents who have worked hard and sacrificed much. The father studied and made the most of every opportunity, and now spends his life investing education back into young people. Anyone who knows a teacher/educator knows the profession does not earn a zillion francs. The mother, however, sacrificed more that she chose to live meagerly in order to not have to work and remained at home giving birth and rearing her offspring, giving them wise counsel, love, stability and a sense of self value and worth. In turn, the children learnt the value of hard work. Parents, your time, your love, your tough love at times, nurture, stability, family values, listening, training, consistency and I could keep going, is much more valuable in the impressionable years of a child than any money, salary, gifts, fancy home, cars, travel can provide. Learning the value of hard work and having instilled a high level of intrinsic motivation will bear fruit at any level of life, be it study, relationships, work or in business. People who can work hard because they are hard workers achieve more because the quality is evident in them. Hard work can only ever bring good fruit. Time is no qualifier however. You don’t just work hard for a short time and because the reward doesn’t come, you give up. A hard worker just keeps going and doesn’t give up until the breakthrough comes and is not phased along the journey. We are therefore starting to learn that quality education and academic excellence is like baking a cake — there are many ingredients. Over these past weeks we have learnt that it takes academic effectiveness plus healthy minds and bodies to produce; teachers full of effervescence about their subject and the method of teaching, insatiable desire for students to want to learn; enthusiasm of parents to partner with their child’s education and a curriculum which prepares students to better integrate into the world and work market. The others are a skills-focussed approach to learning with a special emphasis on critical thinking and a supportive and visionary Government that continually sets benchmarks in leading the way forward. Is there more? You will just have to wait for the next edition. The writer is a Deputy Principal at Riviera High School