Whether single or married, it’s about happiness

Beatrice Uwanziga, a resident of Kicuciro sector, was sad and lonely because she was single , and was convinced that if she finally found a suitor, happiness would come and all her troubles would be put to rest.Her prayers were answered and marriage came at last. “What I found was a completely different picture. I discovered that my husband was not only nagging, but also a terrible alcoholic and a cheat.”The mother of one is now divorced and says she is content with being single.Candid Keza, 33, a student of psychology, is also opposed to marriage.“Being single helps one decide who counts as special. You may have a special person in life, and this can be a close friend or a sibling and not a romantic partner necessarily. “Besides, some people are just introverts, that they will always want to be alone no matter whether a particular person is special to them or not,” she adds.Keza argues that there are moments when even those who are social want to be alone, but it can never be possible if one is tied to a marriage.David Umuranga, 35 and single, and a resident of Kabeza, points out that being single gives one a chance to determine how to spend one’s spare time. “If you crave plenty of time alone, you give yourself a gift of solitude. If you like lots of time with other people, you create a life filled with bonding.”He adds that it has given him a chance to take charge of his life and also connect more deeply with himself.“I live and work on my own and hold myself accountable for whatever happens. I also have enough time to meditate about life.”Umuranga also points out that being single has also given him time to grow his career. “As a single person, one can work late hours since there is no spouse or family to report to,” he says.He also mentions that it’s easy to manage one’s finances when single, since you do not need to ask anyone how to spend your own salary and won’t need to worry about a spouse’s irresponsible debts. Sheila Kaburanga, a mother of two and secondary school teacher, begs to differ saying that those who choose single hood will later regret it.“You may not see the advantage of having a partner now perhaps because you are able and can afford whatever you want, but you only see this later in life when you become old and lonely.” She also disagrees with the fact that marriage causes financial insecurity, pointing out that if both couples have jobs, chances are high that more money will be earned and expenditure obviously shared.“Marriage also gives financial discipline to one, since there are more responsibilities at hand than those of a single person.” Adrian Mutware , a father of four and an electrical engineer based in Rwamagana, says that marriage teaches one many things you will never know if you are single. For instance, it helps one be tolerant, unselfish and caring. He adds that many married people can tell you for a fact that living with someone for the rest of your life is not one of the easiest things for anyone, especially if the other person is totally different from you.“But at least you have someone to share life’s challenges, rewards and sorrows.”He adds that marriage gives one a chance to love and receive love in return, “Loving someone who loves you back is the best feeling especially if someone didn’t experience any as a child.”Simon Peter Muhango, a psychologist and drug store owner based in Nyabugogo remarks that it’s important for couples to study each other first before they rush to tie the knot.“It’s not that all married people are unhappy, it’s just that some people jump into marriages and later regret it,” he notes. He says it’s the couple that decides to create happiness in a home, otherwise problems will always be there.“How a couple chooses to go about these problems is what determines whether happiness will come or not.”Muhango adds that marriage is meant to make life easier but if it doesn’t work out for one, there is no point in trying to force it.