Relationships: Couples and money: How to work it out

Chris, 34, a banker came running into the house and called out, “Honey! Look at the new DVD player I bought!” His wife, Sarah, entered the living room with a frown on her face. As Chris anxiously opened the DVD player and described all its features, Sarah became more and more annoyed. “We don’t have money to be buying DVD players,” she said. “Of course we do, my salary was increased last month. I have wanted one of these for so long. The kids can now start watching cartoons.” “We were supposed to save more money to buy a plot of land!” “There’s no way we are ever going to have enough money in a few months to buy land such a short time. Besides it didn’t cost me a fortune, it was on offer.” Sarah became flooded with emotion and yelled at Bob, “How could you be so selfish!” “Me?! Selfish?! I bought this DVD player for the family! Why are you so angry at me?” Do you and your spouse argue frequently about money? Do you disagree on how to spend or save your paycheck? Does paying the bills escalate into an argument with your spouse that isn’t related to money at all? Money management is critical to the success and happiness of any relationship, including marriage. According to ‘The Family: A proclamation to the World’, parents have a sacred duty to provide for their children’s physical needs. Effective management of family income or resources is a key to a happy family. Beyond physical survival, a family’s emotional survival depends on financial stability and tranquility. It’s quite possible that the one making the most money may try to control all the finances. Sometimes a power struggle concerning money will creep into your marriage. If your wife is the one who is saving, investing, and being responsible, and you are irresponsibly spending money, you have no business making financial decisions. It is not your right as ‘man’ of the house to be in charge of the money. They can then save or spend money as they want without having to justify the expenditure or feel guilty about spending the money. Even though it is difficult sometimes to face your feelings and thoughts about money, it is imperative that a married couple make time to discuss their finances and to make decisions together about budgets, short- and long-term goals, and investment strategies. Respect one another’s values and find ways to compromise in how you will deal with your financial differences. Relationships and investing are both complex subjects in their own right - mixing the two can sometimes be a recipe for disaster. If you or your spouse cannot be responsible with the finances, you do not deserve to have control over them. According to experts on managing family finance the basic principles of managing household finance as couples are: Communication Effective communication about family finances and goals is critical to money management. Do you know your spouse’s attitude toward money? Do you know and understand his or her financial goals? Do you talk to your spouse before making a large purchase? Do you consult with your spouse about how to spend “extra” money like tax refunds, gifts, or bonuses? Emotional intimacy Do you understand your spouse’s feelings toward money? Do you understand why money matters make your wife anxious? Do you understand that your husband is motivated to save money for a rainy day because his family had money problems when he was a child? Mutual respect and consideration Do you use money to control your spouse? Do you go on shopping sprees and exceed the family budget because you are angry at your husband? Do you respect your wife’s desire to save money for new curtains-or your husband’s desire to save money for a trip? Do you consider your spouse’s feelings before making financial decisions? Trust and love Do you and your spouse trust that you have each other’s best interests at heart? Do you communicate openly with your wife about your financial income or do you hide some of your money so she won’t spend it? Contact: ubernie@gmail.com