With high mortality rates, widowhood is something many African women have to live with. But in culturally diverse Africa, many widows are treated with disdain. Chantal Uwimana, a widower, explains how women who lose their husbands have to deal not only with the despair and sorrow of loss but also the many obstacles widowhood presents. In many African cultures, women are not allowed to inherit property that belonged to their husbands. Once the husband dies, there is no will and the in-laws and other clan members pounce on the family property. Orphans are left penniless. In the most superstitious communities, such greedy acts are mostly facilitated by the belief that if a widow quarrels with her in-laws, her husband will come back to haunt her. In Uganda, especially in the Buganda culture, when a woman’s husband dies a widow is advised to pay careful attention to what tradition dictates. This culture expects a widow not stop bathing, combing her hair, wearing shoes or slippers. She is supposed to put on an old Gomesi with a string of bark cloth around the waist, to depict sorrow. The theory behind this kiganda practice is that disinterest in physical appearance is proof that a widow is truly mourning her dead husband. Elders explain that the move to make the widow unattractive is to discourage other men from falling in love with her. Widowhood rituals vary among African cultures. In many societies, rituals begin immediately after the burial of the husband. The isolation of the widow from the rest of the community is a common practice, where the period of seclusion varies from one culture to another. For example, among the Mbaise Igbos of eastern Nigeria, a woman becomes a Isi npke the moment her husband dies. She must refrain from washing, has to sit on the ground , her food is prepared separately and she can only be fed by an old widow from a broken pot or an old plate which will be thrown a way after the period of seclusion. During this period, she is considered unclean so she has to hold a knife or a broomstick at all times. To touch any part of her body she must use those tools instead of her hands.For 28 days she is not allowed to go to the well, market place or step onto any kind of farm land. After that period, other rituals are performed until the widow can finally resume her usual activities. In some communities in West Africa the period between being widowed and remarrying, if she is still marriageable, is know as ‘Iddat’ or ‘Idda’. J.S. Trimmingham, author of ‘Christianity Amazing the Arabs in Pre-Islamic Times’ and an authority on Islam , notes that according to the Islamic law, the widow should observe Idda for three periods to regain purity. In some non-Islamic societies of Africa, the period is longer, lasting twelve calendar months or thirteen lunar months others last as long as three years. However, many of these rituals have disintegrated with time. In this era the scourage of HIV has had a profound impact on the issue of widowhood. Widowhood was mostly associated with widows who were much older, with a wider view of the world and who were often hesitant to remarry. The deaths of their husbands were usually due to wars, natural disasters, epidemics and other diseases. For young widows, it was easy to remarry especially if they had no or few children. However, contemporary widowhood happens to both young and old and is often associated with HIV. And the widow can rarely marry again. Uwimimana beleives that the way a widow is treated depends on the level of understanding and compassion displayed by her in-laws and clan members. “Fortunately my case is different from many widows. When my husband died, my in-laws were very understanding and sympathetic. They offered my five children and me support and love.” “Many are not so lucky.” Ends
