Editor, I wish to comment on the article, “Why all should forgive” (Sunday Times, November 17).Thank you for raising this issue.Here is my take: Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.Right there you can see that it has nothing to do with emotions.Let me repeat – it is a deliberate decision; it originates in the will. In order to forgive you must have a strong will.However, forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean excusing offences. Forgiveness brings the forgiver a peace of mind and frees them from anger. It empowers you to recognise the pain you suffered, enabling you to heal and move on with your life.It does not obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from accountability. In other words, forgiving is about you, not about the offender. It relieves you, not the offender.It is about your mental health. It is not about absolving the offender or alleviating their feelings of guilt.Rashid Swaleh, United States
