Regret. 

Such a powerful word that brings up emotion in everyone. There is serious regret like missed opportunities that have huge consequences on your life, or regretting the extra mandazi at breakfast.

Do I have any regrets?

Of course I do. I don’t think I would be human if I didn’t feel like I’d missed out on certain opportunities. A few years ago, I made the decision to move to this beautiful city, Kigali, which is now home.

When I first got here, I thought the job market would be a bit better and I would find a job instantly. That was far from the truth. I went through a few potential interviews that brought hope but could not hire me right away so hence the three month wait.

During this three month wait, I drank a lot with my new friends. It was fun since I had worked my butt off for months before moving home but I was itching to have a normal schedule that didn’t revolve around me watching 80’s movies all day long and waiting for people to finish work. The regret began to come out of its evil corners and haunt me.

My mood turned sour and I started questioning if I had made the right decision to move back home and join the exciting times and changes Rwanda was going through. However, the job market was not being kind to me and I started regretting my move. I started hating people who had sold me the dream of living the good life in Rwanda.

A few years later, I no longer regret the move. I love my new life in Kigali and couldn’t have it any other way. A big decision looming over me now is if it is time to follow my passion and dreams and go into a career I love, or keep on paying my dues.

I am afraid I will keep on doing this and wake up one day and regret not having fun in my twenties exploring this world and different job opportunities because I tied myself down too early. I look at my friends everywhere, even in Kigali, doing what they love and really hustling their way to the top and I wonder if I should not be doing the same?

Well I hope these dues I have paid don’t leave me high and dry one day. I guess growing up is all about missed opportunities and losses but also about gains and experiences. We just have to learn to deal with these losses and see them as positive experiences and not dwell on them too much. We have to look at the positive things in life because for many people around the world, positivity in life is a luxury.

Do you ladies have any regrets? How do you deal with them?