…think we share the same interests just because they know me. I used to think it was impossible or even rude to unfriend someone on Facebook. Not anymore. I have realised there is a new breed of stupid people. Yes, the ones who invite you to like certain pages that you have no idea about. The other day someone invited me to play ‘slot machine.’

Others invite me to ‘try birthdays.’ What makes them think that while I am on my desk thinking of serious things to do (such as hating) I would have time for a slot machine game or that I care to try out birthdays. What does that even mean anyway? *Unfriends* 

…pace around the club the whole night. Sometimes I go to the club to have some fun with my friends. Yes, The Hater has friends too. However I get pissed off when I see idlers pacing around the whole club, the whole night. I am talking about those fools who spend the whole night moving from one part of the club to the other with no clear destination. What is it that you are looking for? Did you come here to have fun or to walk around aimlessly? Are you a surveyor trying to find out the total surface area of the club or what? Bouncers need to throw out such time wasters? 

…start annoying promotions that disrupt our lives. I am so tired of some of these promotions that telecom companies start where people are encouraged to pay some money in order to make free calls for a whole day. How on earth do you sit down and say, I will give idle people an opportunity to make free calls. People are now making calls while in commuter taxis and narrating their whole journey. The other day I was in a taxi where one such fellow kept blubbering on his phone and announcing each town the bus had got to or passed. What is even more annoying is that when you have to make a serious call you cannot go through because these idlers are talking nonstop.  

…give their friends nicknames without thinking through. I understand what it means to have a good friend. A friend with whom you share so much that it becomes cool to only refer to them using a nickname. However it is very annoying when the most disappointing nicknames are used. The other day I was in a taxi and some part-time thinker got on the phone and started talking to a friend: ‘Al Shabaab.’ I turned around to see this shameless person who was in touch with a terrorist. Had they run out nicknames by the time they settled for Al Shabaab? Almost makes you wonder why the real Al Shabaab has not come for their ‘colleague’ yet. 

…think they have monopoly of ideas. These know-it-alls are always quick to tell you how you cannot comment on something because you are not part of it. They tell single people to shut about if the topic is relationships. It is even worse where countries are involved. You will be branded as an outsider who knows nothing. My question is who told these great philosophers that only they can have something to say about a topic. Do I really need to get married first before I can say something about relationships? Are you trying to say I should be a mechanic to know that a Mercedes Benz is a finer car than that sample of a car otherwise known as a Vitz?

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or text me at +250 788 545293