A RECENT survey in the UK found out that about two thirds of women use sex to reward their partners for good behaviour such as doing house chores.

There must be a strong argument for this going by the sheer number of women who use sex to get their men do what they want. According to Cindy Umutesi of Kimihurura, men just don’t understand women. "We aren’t that complicated as many men tend to believe. It’s as simple as this: If you want sex, we (women) want something in return. You scratch my back and I scratch your back, period!”

Cindy has used sex to get her boyfriend do what she wants on several occasions. "Nothing gets a girl in the mood like a nice dinner and cocktails in a fancy restaurant. When my boyfriend takes me out, he gets a passionate reward for showing how caring and considerate he is later on in the bedroom.”

She adds that there’s nothing that spices up a relation than when the man is romantic, and thus it’s just in order for her to reward her man with sex. "You buy me a flower, chocolate and we watch a movie together so that I can cry on your shoulder and you are assured that sooner or later, we are going to have it. However, when he shows that he doesn’t care because he thinks that sex is his right by the virtue of just being my man, then he’ll be in for a rude shock for I’m going to measure for him sex like a dose of medicine,” she says with a chuckle.

However, Cindy says that the reward should be spontaneous, and the man shouldn’t see it as a carrot and stick controlling game.

"You shouldn’t tell your husband or boyfriend in the morning that ‘honey, if you make dinner tonight and clean up afterward, you’ll get lucky later.’ This is a complete turn off. ”

Catherine Nkubito, agrees that for many generations, men and women have been trying to control each other. "They may complain, criticize, threaten and nag in order to make their partner change. However, to a woman, sex is another arsenal in her armour she deploys in this age-old gender war.”

But does sex as a reward work in all cases? Elizabeth Kazimbaya, doesn’t think so. "You might wear your partner down by giving you what you want at the moment. But what have you lost? You are unwittingly chipping away the very foundation of a strong relationship in the future, unconditional love.”

Paul Gasana, 32, says that it’s not the duty of a woman to reward "positive” behaviour with sex and punish "negative” one by withholding it. "How does it feel to be emotionally controlled by a person who professes to love you?