I love my girlfriend so much. In the past, I wasn’t a very good guy but I later changed for the better. My life revolves around this girl to the point that I would easily stop being friends with someone if she didn’t like them.

Of late, I just feel like she’s growing distant. She doesn’t call me and assumes that sorry will be enough. She acts strange; I suspect there is another man in her life because her actions sadden me a lot. What do you think is going on? 

Kevin, 30

Women can be hard to figure out

Ever heard the joke where a genie asks a man to make three wishes and the man asks for world peace, personal peace and the ability to understand women?

It can be hard to figure out what will please your girl and what will piss her off. The harder you try, the less she appreciates. 

On what to do, it is up to you, do you want to keep doing things that she doesn’t appreciate? Do you want to give your all and get nothing back? Do you love her so much that you can throw your friends and associates out?

If you are not comfortable with the unappreciated efforts it is time to put one foot in front of the other and call it quits. It is time to weigh between the life you had before she came to your life and the one you have. If it is not better, it will be up to you to make the call.

Collins, 26, is married

******

Sometimes people just need space

One thing you must understand is that girls are different from guys. Don’t try to judge her by what you would have done if you were in her shoes. Becoming distant is something very normal and it happens in many relationships. 

When a girl notices that her guy loves her to the moon and back, she takes it for granted and doesn’t have to keep up her act because she is very certain you are there for the long haul. Sometimes people just need space, don’t be too paranoid about it. It will drive you crazy!

Don’t get mad and do something you will regret. Just let her be and if she insists on not talking to you when you confront her, let it pass. After a while, she will come around but don’t let her get too comfortable. 

It’s always great to set some boundaries. Give her time but also, make her know that you won’t wait forever!

Patrick, 22, is in a stable relationship

******

You deserve better

If you love her like you say you do, talk to her; tell her how you feel about her and the things she does. 

Loving her that much shouldn’t be a reason for her to treat you like trash. You don’t deserve what she’s putting you through, frankly,  nobody does. 

Love should give a sense of shelter and comfort from this cruel world. It’s supposed to be sweet and pure and not rude and inconsiderate. 

You said she keeps hurting you; who would want to be in a relationship with someone who keeps hurting them? That’s insane! 

Ask her to change and if she doesn’t, then you have to let her go. It’s not worth it mate! If she truly loves you, then she shouldn’t have a problem apologising for her behaviour. 

That is not the way to treat someone you claim you care about. 

Martin, 29, is single