…borrow pens and then mistake them for sugarcanes. I still can’t believe I haven’t yet found the courage to kick one of these fools so hard between their legs. Seriously speaking, how on earth does one borrow a pen from you and then immediately start biting one end of the pen as though it were a sugar cane of candy bar? Since when did pens become edible for the adults?

If your problem was hunger why didn’t you ask for food instead? Why pretend that you want to write something yet actually your problem is that you skipped breakfast and your useless head is telling you that a pen with ink is edible.   

…think everything should be international. Foolish people have a way of overwhelming me with their foolishness. Have you guys noticed the way some jokers are using the word international as though it were some kind of new toilet tissue brand?

I mean, they are using it on everything they can think of. You find a small restaurant named Restaurant International yet the only thing on the menu is Bugali and Isombe!

I think someone should go around asking these places and organisations that claim to be ‘international’ to prove their reach or change their names. We shall not be fooled around by people who think they can use the word ‘international’ on everything they come across. 

…don’t know the difference between fan and fun or meat and meet. I know English is not a simple language but let us be honest here. Misusing some words clearly leaves me with no option but to hate some people.

And besides, my job is to hate such people not to feel sorry that they are struggling with a foreign language. For example, how can one claim to be a Barcelona ‘fun’ for ages without knowing how foolish they sound?  

And why do you have to insist that you are going to ‘meat’ someone yet you actually mean ‘meet’? What if that person is a vegetarian or what if he thinks you are a cannibal just because you can’t get your spellings right. Anyway, I just hate such people. 

…walk away and leave their phones behind. I can already see the guilty faces trying to run away from this page as if that will save them from my anger. Yes, I hate people who walk away and leave their phones behind.

These lazy jokers end up accumulating missed calls and are even proud to tell you how they had left the phone behind. Do I really need to remind such people that that thing is actually a mobile phone and that you should move with it everywhere you go.

If you had wanted a phone you can leave behind then you would have just stuck with a landline. That way you would not feature on this page. 

…go for cheap tattoos and spend the rest of their lives looking ugly. It is amazing how some people will go to great lengths to prove that there is only urine between their heads.

Yes, I have to use stronger language because this is just too annoying to address lightly. I really hate and despise people with cheap ugly tattoos.

I saw one the other day with a picture of a cobra and I think it was my first time to see a disabled cobra because it was so poorly drawn on his arm. These people belong to a mental facility. 

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293.