Remember when you would sit around with your girls and give advice for days on what they should wear or the boy they are dating that week? Well if you are above 19, chances are those times are long gone.

Once you hit a certain point in life, you, as a sister or best friend, no longer have the right to comment on the life choices of the people closest to you.

My first harsh reality of this was when my oldest friend, also known as my younger brother, started dating; he never filled me in on the details of these dates and sometimes would not even tell me the name of the girl he was with!

Well I can be quite the nosey older sister and I have mastered the teasing part so maybe that played a role in not sharing this information but the fact is, I could no longer expect to be told everything.

Now on to your home girls; the girls you had sleepovers with when you were in primary and secondary school, shared every break at school with and every secret with. Yes those girls. Have you noticed a shift in your relationship over the years? Personally, I have been one of those girls who have changed. When I started dating a boyfriend from the past, there was gossip that surrounded our relationship and doubts especially from some of my closest friends. I knew they only wanted the best, but this ‘want’ had some bias from what they had heard. This boggled my mind because at the end of the day who I was letting into my life again was my business. This was my lesson in not letting your friends’ opinion have an effect on your life because that relationship turned very successful.

I chose to ignore them. I would hear them out and respectfully tell them to mind their own business. I have always been the one to dish out advice when people ask for it but the mentioned experience taught me that as adults, we all have our own journey and we must learn from our own experiences. Obviously, you are not about to let your best friend live a vicious cycle of bad relationships without saying something but will you grab her by the hair and drag her away from the bad boys she likes? No, you can’t.  Another thing to note is that with all of life’s twists and turns, you have your own stuff to deal with, adding on the emotional baggage from your crazy friend’s life is probably not advisable. So it is in your best interest to step back and concentrate on yourself and your relationship.

So 21st century ladies, have you faced this harsh reality before? Or are you still going around dishing out advice to your besties?