He’s Just Not That Into You is a movie I’ve watched probably way more times than comprehensible. However, every time I watch it, I pick up something new. In the movie we are told that when a guy acts like a total prick or even goes as far as simply ignoring us, then he is actually into us – and that is where our problems start.

We carry around this belief that Mr. Proud, is simply just that – proud – and that he will come around eventually, not considering the fact that even though he is indeed a proud fellow, he genuinely doesn’t wish to date you. Last week, an acquaintance living abroad told me about a guy she has feelings for but the guy doesn’t seem to know she exists.

Let me make it clear that this very guy happens to be the friend of a friend so technically, he knows of her existence, but romantically, she’s just another chick he sees around. This poor soul has tried every game in the book to get him to notice her the way that she wants him to but to no avail. She went as far as faking a drunken stupor just to get him to show some concern and drop her home – perhaps even carry her to her bed and offer to spend the night just to ‘take care’ of her some more! Sly fox that one!

Being the gentleman that he is, her game went quite well, till he dropped her home and her cousin came out of her room to see what was up. Seeing that there was someone there to take her through the rest of the night, the good man said goodnight and left. She threatened to throw her cousin out on the streets for sabotaging her plan!

The next day, thinking she had at least moved one step ahead, she called the guy, thanking him for taking care of her and offered to ‘make up for it’ by buying him dinner - or perhaps making him dinner. Again with the shrewdness. The fellow simply told her it was no trouble at all but went ahead to politely decline her dinner offer, claiming he was busy all week. 

After bumping into him twice or thrice she decided to ‘man up’ and ask him what his problem was exactly. It’s not easy to explain in words just how much I appreciate this fellow’s honesty because it doesn’t go around very often. He nicely told her that he was certain she was a great girl but that he simply didn’t like her ‘that way’ and that friendship was the best he could offer.

Heaps of frustration, angry glares from afar and about 10 shots of tequila later, she went back to the guy’s table and in front of his pals, assured him that there were a zillion guys just dying to date her. Sure, he said, but he wasn’t one of them. The man was now forced to become as brutal as possible, just to make sure the point had sunk in.

Like my desperate friend here, many women have followed the myth that when a man acts like he is not interested, he actually is – and this makes no sense whatsoever! I mean, if he is attracted to me, then he should just say so and we can skip the whole ‘jerk’ part and go to the good stuff! Let me be very clear that this attraction must be mutual or I too, will be forced to act a like a ‘female dog’ just to drive the point home. I guess it works both ways!