There is a dream I constantly have; Ryan Reynolds finds me in a bar, watches me from across the counter with that ‘I’m so going home with you tonight’ look, he tells the waiter to give me whatever I’m drinking, and the rest is – well – X-rated!

I once told an ex about this dream and he didn’t find it even half as entertaining as I did. Personally, I honestly didn’t see the harm in some raunchy fantasy about some hot actor I will NEVER meet. And let’s just say in some extremely mysterious way that I did get the chance to meet him, the chances of him finding me even quarter as attractive as the Hollywood hotties he works with are nonexistent, to put it plainly!

This very dude who didn’t appreciate my scenario claimed he had no such approach for anyone. So I questioned him about the likes of Beyonce, Angelina Jolie and Halle Berry, all the chicks guys seem crazy about but he was determined to lie to me that my hotness surpassed all that!

But mine is what I insist is a harmless little fantasy – I mean this is Ryan Reynolds we’re talking about – not the hot cashier at Nakumatt! There’s a difference. See, the hot cashier at Nakumatt is within my reach and if I positioned my boobs just right while trying to pull money out of my purse, surely I’d have a shot! But that’s just me. And I’m courteous and wise enough to know that you do not go around telling your partner how fascinated you are by an individual whose cell phone number you can actually get. 

Some people are convinced that fantasies either lead to or are in fact infidelity. That does not have to be the case. Lots of people have fantasies but are afraid to talk about them because they are not sure how their partner will react. I could dream about kissing in the rain because I watched Ryan Gosling kiss Rachel McAdams in the rain in The Notebook, and that dream could actually be about me and my boyfriend.

The only problem is when your boyfriend isn’t the romantic type and would rather throw on a raincoat than risk catching pneumonia – going as far as looking at you like you’re nuts when you suggest it - yet all you wanted was one romantic moment! So maybe movie romance is messing me up but if my boyfriend is not going to come running after me when I storm out of the house in anger, could he at least not ruin the fantasy of Channing Tatum doing it when I later insinuate that that is what I’d like?

I strongly believe that shared fantasies would spice up things in a relationship but if your partner is not down for such ‘nonsense’, then fantasy is pretty much all you’ve got.