There was once a casual debate on this subject in which I made it very clear that ex’s look better in my past and not my future. One arrogant and rather stupid fellow once told me after a break up that I would never find a guy like him and I thought, I should hope so…if I don’t want anything to do with you what makes you think I want someone like you? Fool!

I’ve seen guys who dump their chicks with a certain poise only to go looking for greener pastures and things couldn’t be browner! They then come crawling back (and I mean that literally) hoping to worm their way into the lives of the very individuals they dumped without a thought in their head. 

I know every relationship has its ups and downs and therefore ‘breaking up’ is sometimes inevitable but this business of coming back after we agreed to part ways is not only infuriating but a hindrance to development!

I speak for myself when I say hooking up with an ex is a colossal waste of time. If it was meant to work out, it never would have failed the first time (and by failed I mean having to go your separate ways and moving on), don’t you think? And if I hear the line ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try again’ one more time I swear I’m going to slit my wrists. 

If the reasons why the relationship failed the first time are still out there, they are likely to raise their head again sometime in the future. It’s so easy, even just a few weeks out of a serious split, to look back on your relationship and see nothing but gumdrop romance and chocolate-covered compatibility. But this nostalgia is likely false — or, if you actually did have a lot of stuff worth smiling about, your erratic mind is conveniently ignoring all of the stuff that made you end the relationship thing in the first place.

So maybe there were qualities in your ex that called out to you and you are almost 200 per cent certain that you won’t find those qualities in another man ever, but get a grip! The next ‘Hercules’ to come along will offer new qualities, some you never even knew existed! 

So how do you tell if this blast from the past wants to rendezvous again? Easy. He will try to get your attention. He might do something dramatic, fantastic or just downright stupid. All you will hear from mutual friends are stories of his courage, generosity or foolishness…whichever describes his actions best!

If he starts calling you at strange hours to ask for things you threw out the second he was gone, wonder no more. If he drunk dials you, pathetic as it is, it is the clearest sign that he wishes he was getting drunk with you! When you get a call from him in this state, it lets you know that showing up to nurse his hangover tomorrow could be the renewal of a liaison.

If he’s suddenly more connected to your family and friends than he ever was, be suspicious! Nothing screams ‘I want you back’ than a man who is suddenly interested in checking in on your mother! 

In the end, the decision is yours. He wants you back, what are going to do about it?