He said the ‘L’ word but the feeling isn’t mutual
I’ve been dating this guy for two months now . From nowhere, he told me he loves me. He’s caring and took time to tell me about his past and everything I need to know about him. But I am really confused about the timing of those three words.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
I’ve been dating this guy for two months now . From nowhere, he told me he loves me. He’s caring and took time to tell me about his past and everything I need to know about him. But I am really confused about the timing of those three words.
I mean we’ve only been dating for two months; I didn’t think it is this serious but now he says he loves me? Honestly I’m not in love with him and I don’t want to hurt him. What should I do guys?
Kimberly
The short term pain of accepting the truth is much better than the long term pain of believing an illusion. Explain the situation to him. He won’t be too happy about your decision to not be with him but he will understand.
I know it is easier said than done and telling a man that you don’t love him can leave a serious scar on his ego but this is about you too. If you do not feel him then there is no need to pretend that you do.
If anything, he should at least appreciate your honesty. If you don’t let him go he may never find his true love. He is a guy and he will get over it.
You will never be able to love him like he loves you and because of this you must not delay if you want happiness. It is not fair to either of you. You both deserve to be happy and staying in the relationship because you don’t want to hurt him will lead to resentment later.
Martin, 29, is single
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Just because it’s only been two months doesn’t mean his ‘I love you’ is a fake. It takes a lot of guts to tell a partner about your past but if he took time to tell you, thumbs up and I respect him for that. The best solution is to sit down and talk about it.
Saying he loves you doesn’t mean you have to say it back immediately or that you owe him. Tell him what he means to you and that you are willing to love him with time (that’s if you are). If he truly loves you, he will understand.
It will get awkward when he keeps telling you he loves you and all you do is stare at him.
To be honest, if you feel like the relationship isn’t something you are serious about then just let him know it and end it before it goes any further. It would be totally unfair to lead him on. I can’t promise you that you will get a better guy because there are not walking around in hordes. I think you already have that great guy…give him a chance.
Patrick, 21, is in a stable relationship
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I can only imagine just how confusing it is for you. I mean, there you were, thinking that you were casually dating and then out of the blue, he declares his love.
Well, as a fellow that has fallen hard before, I can declare that a guy can fall in love in less than two months. What I must ask is, why are you surprised that he declared his feelings? It seems that you guys were getting really close to each other and you didn’t have an issue with it.
So, is the issue that you have NO feelings for him? Or are you not in love yet? If it’s the former I think its best that you be honest with him and tell him that you aren’t into him.
However, if it’s the latter, you shouldn’t worry that you aren’t at the same emotional level as he is. Relax and enjoy the budding relationship.
Lincoln, 32, lives with his girlfriend