One of life’s challenges is raising kids. It’s a subject that is likely to interest most people with more than just a passing interest. There are a million different things that happen from day one of conception, through to birth until the day when a child is finally on his or her own as a self sufficient adult. And most of those things probably include spending some cash.

Unfortunately not all children will mature at the same pace, and some need more special care than others either due to differences in attention spans, varying capacity or for special medical reasons. Each child is unique. So the more I think about it, the more I confirm that good parenting skills really are awe inspiring. It is like being teacher, guide and provider to several different class groups all at once.

Imagine picking your ten year old and seven year old from school at 2pm only to find you need to come back two hours later because the ten year old isn’t done yet. He has enrolled for swimming lessons after class (so please come back at 4pm). But the seven year old has kid’s league football practice at 4pm at the opposite side of town, not to mention the traffic you have to negotiate in between.

Meanwhile, as if the unexpected turn of events is not enough you get home to discover you cannot find the house keys which you had earlier handed to your toddler in the back car seat. Did she swallow them or throw them out the window you wonder?

By now the seven year old is throwing a tantrum because he is hungry. At least your one year old toddler has dosed off in the heat… but you want to rip the voice out of your seven year old so he can stop yelling. Fingers crossed he doesn’t wake the baby. You hope he loses his voice so you can think straight.

So you are back in the car to that other fish and chips place so you can get some food for the kids. And as you take the baby out of the car seat, eureka! You found the car keys. But now seven year old is already half way to the restaurant and very, very excited so you might as well eat.

Between extra fuel to unplanned destinations and eating at the restaurant that is at least an additional 25,000 Rwf you had not planned on spending today! That is life after kids!

So if there is even one day you can say, "I have good kids after all” be really proud and do not be ashamed to boast about it. 

Personally, I really admire the time and effort it takes to raise good kids. The time factor is so important because there is a lot that happens that you cannot plan for in advance. What really is sad is how in this generation so many kids have to make do with minimal or even no parental planning or guidance.

Too many kids are raised by young single parents with no skills or education or to parents who are busy chasing a career. There’s no dad who cares enough to get involved either emotionally or financially. On the flip side, life has become so expensive it is a struggle to make ends meet.

The parenting is left to paid help that is aloof and emotionally removed. What can we do to build strong family values when the odds are stacked so high against us? Is this modern living worth it?