I had an argument with my boyfriend months ago about having flirted with another girl. Well, he convinced me he didn’t and the girl also confessed she lied about having flirted with him. For some reason I didn’t believe him and till today I don’t have trust in him.

He always turns down girls that want him and he’s a perfect gentle man. I even wanted to marry him immediately. He can do anything for me, but am not happy with that incident till today and since am a staunch Christian, I feel like I should break up with him. What can I do?

Alexia, 26

There is a difference between flirting and cheating. If your boyfriend is only flirting, you’d be a fool to break up with him over it because everyone does it. You’ll never find a guy who doesn’t. I suggest that you hold unto him, flirting isn’t reason enough to break up with your man unless he has some other vices that you’ve not mentioned.

When you make up your mind about being in a relationship, you got to be strong enough to fight for it and learn how solve the problems that might arise without threatening to end it! However, if you aren’t ready to do this then suspend that subject called ‘relationship’ otherwise you might jump from the frying pan to the fire. In this case, what you should do is to tell him how exactly you feel about his flirty ways.

Tell him you’re uncomfortable with him flirting. Be honest with him and tell him what he’s doing wrong. He might not even realize it. Give him a chance to change but if he does it after you tell him to stop then dump him. If you ask me, flirting is completely meaningless and equally harmless; in fact most guys rarely if ever take it even slightly seriously. 

Martin, 29

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One thing I can say is no one is perfect. If the girl you think he flirted with says it didn’t happen and you still think it did then there is more to the problem than just trust. Maybe you aren’t happy with him and you think you can be happier with someone else.

To be honest, 80% of the women I know don’t have a man that fits even half the description of your man. Well I suggest you settle down and think about the decision you are making before you actually regret it in future.

I always hear women say, "Where have all the gentle and loving men gone” and on your side you’re asking, "Where is a more than perfect and loving gentle man?” I suggest you think about it and if it’s all about a trust issue, resolve it and talk about it with him.

I also wouldn’t think it would be fair to break up with this guy if he fits the description you gave. He has loved you that much and all of a sudden you’re just ending things? I don’t think you should end it otherwise there will be uncalled-for sadness inflicted on the both of you yet things would have been better. 

Patrick, 21, in a stable relationship

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Alexia,

I will have to tell you the cold, hard truth. I think you are spoilt, immature and unworthy of the man you have. Lets get this straight: MONTHS ago you had an argument with your boyfriend about how he flirted with a certain girl.

He said he didn’t and the girl also says he didn’t. but STILL you feel unhappy with the incident; so much so that you feel that you should break up with him. Wow. Just wow.

Honestly, I think you should leave him, not because of anything he’s done, but rather because you aren’t ready to be in a relationship with ANYBODY. Very often we get into relationships without really thinking about what they really entail. It seems that you are just looking for excuses to call it quits. I advise you to do just that. The man in question deserves better than whatever you are giving him. 

Lincoln, 32, lives with his girlfriend