Would you cohabit before exchanging vows? (Cohabiting seems like probation)

Why do I have to be put on probation just because the guy I am dating wants to know if I will be a good wife? If the guy loves me and we have dated long enough, then there is no need to test my marital skills until we are actually married.

Thursday, June 06, 2013

Why do I have to be put on probation just because the guy I am dating wants to know if I will be a good wife? If the guy loves me and we have dated long enough, then there is no need to test my marital skills until we are actually married.

It’s important to discuss each person’s motivation and commitment level beforehand. Better to get to know their likes and what it takes to make them happy than to view cohabiting as the solution to love. On the contrary, it is only a test.  

I believe that people who cohabit before marriage have higher chances of getting divorced because they don’t know what it means to love and be together even when they have wronged each other.  

They think the only solution is to break up because they are looking for the best in someone and honestly, no one is perfect. Cohabiting will increase your chances of making mistakes or making them again instead of enjoying the marriage.

No one can convince me that a couple cohabiting are in love. I take it as trying to please each other because both parties are afraid they might be thrown out if they are not perfect.

My greatest concern is why should I be tested instead of marrying someone who wants me for me? I like mystery. I like waking up and finding out there is more to my man than meets the eye (good stuff of course). I don’t want to be in a predictable relationship and that is exactly what cohabiting does – predict the future!

Worse even is the fact that if I move in with a guy, I will feel obligated to please him. I will spend every minute wondering if I’m on the right track and that’s simply no way to live. I would hate to waste precious moments of life trying to live up to someone’s expectations with no guarantee that it will end well for me.

If we are in love we will get married after dating and we won’t push the commitment by pretending that we should get to know each other more by cohabiting. That’s not even up for discussion!  

With all the other factors constant, as a Christian, I need to consider the fact that cohabiting is sinful and leads to fornication. Plus, society still doesn’t understand the concept of a man and woman living together when they are not married. And I don’t wish to go around explaining myself.