I’ve been cohabiting with my boyfriend for two months now, but we’ve been dating for a year and seven months. This guy is literally unbearable. Sometimes he comes back home late without so much as notifying me ahead of time.

He expects me to do all the house chores yet I have a job because he claims maids are a waste of money. To top it all off, he is simply not as loving as he used to be. I’m really not happy. I’m tempted to stay away till we get married. What should I do?

Allen, 28

Thank goodness you have learnt all about this guy before marrying him. You have been cohabiting for only two months and yet you can’t bear his behaviour - how much more will you be able to put up with him when you are married?

Putting in mind as well, why did you agree to cohabit with him yet you had dated for such a long time? Wasn’t the next step supposed to be marriage? Cohabiting isn’t a good idea because it drains you and makes you feel married without a certain level of commitment, which can be draining.

Have you tried talking to him about the issues in your relationship? Women sometimes assume that men know what’s going on without telling them they are unhappy. Talk to him and see if he is willing to change. Then, either stop cohabiting and get married, or dump him altogether for your own good.

Ivan, 29, is single

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You’ve been dating this guy but now that you are cohabiting, his true self has surfaced. First of all I would like to assure you that it’s quite normal because things don’t always stay the same and love, well, a few annoying habits doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you anymore.  Now that you are ‘together’, he doesn’t have to keep impressing you the way he did when you had just met. I’m not saying what he is doing is right but it’s normal. 

About leaving the house till you get married, that isn’t going to help. This is because you will still come back to the same guy after you are married. Talk to him and make him understand how you feel. If he doesn’t listen to you then think about how much of it you can take because I wouldn’t advise you to stay with someone who doesn’t make you happy. 

Patrick, 21, is in a steady relationship

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I’m sorry Allen that things are not working as well as you had wished. I think that your boyfriend is doing what most people do in a stable relationship; he’s taking you and the relationship for granted. 

Maybe its because he thinks that since you’ve moved in with him you cannot pull out of the relationship. Perhaps you need to put him in his place and remind him just how lucky he is to have you in his life. 

I will not go so far as advise you to leave the house but it should be something that is on the negotiating table. Sometimes men (and women) will push bounderies to see how much they can get away with. 

I suggest that you put him in his place.

Lincoln, 32, lives with his girlfriend