Would you take on his last name? (Yes, it feels like we belong together!)

I believe that taking up your husband’s name when you get married is a personal preference and I don’t see why it would cause any conflict.

Friday, May 10, 2013
Doreen Umutesi

I believe that taking up your husband’s name when you get married is a personal preference and I don’t see why it would cause any conflict. Growing up, I believed it was customary for a woman to take her husband’s last name. I always thought that it was natural but recently I realised it’s optional. Maybe it was because I had always seen the man’s last name on invitation cards and Christmas cards. Also, when a woman gets married, in most cases  people  immediately start addressing her as Mrs So and So whether she likes it or not.Personally, I will definitely take on my husband‘s name when I get married although my maiden name will definitely become my middle name. I don’t know what other women do with their maiden names once they take their husband’s names. Acquiring his name makes me feel like we belong together. If you have committed to spending the rest of your life with him through thick and thin, I don’t see why taking on his name is a problem. Whether at social or formal events, a wife is always addressed as Mrs..... and not Mrs. Umutesi because that’s the way it has always been. Even the children taking on his last name shows unity. "When getting married do you keep your middle name or maiden name?” an article that was published online says that there are options for you after marriage. You may keep your name as given, you may drop you current last name and take your spouse’s, you may drop your middle name, move your maiden to middle and take your spouse’s last, you may take the new last name to the end and have 4 names, you may hyphenate, you may merge your current and your spouse’s name to form a new last, etc. I think couples should first talk about acquiring the others name so that in cases where the woman does not want to take on her spouse‘s name, it does not cause any conflict. It’s a choice that should be respected and not imposed hence the need to strike a balance.