Are we fighting again?

I have never really understood relationships that seem to have more conflict than peace. It is like getting along is actually impossible yet somehow, neither party wants to call it quits. What’s up with that? 

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

I have never really understood relationships that seem to have more conflict than peace. It is like getting along is actually impossible yet somehow, neither party wants to call it quits. What’s up with that? 

Some will say fights are actually good for a relationship – just not physical ones. And others will gladly agree that there is a limit to the episodes of those fights – and if you are fighting every day, you have no business being together.

Fair or foul, fighting is something all couples do. But it is up to the concerned parties to make theirs effective or destructive, according to Bridalguide.com. Now, by destructive I’m guessing what they mean is those moments where neither party is willing to accept their wrong or make efforts to patch things up. 

They will lash at each other, say the meanest things and generally get to a point where ‘patching things up’ is not an option.

According to Greg Godek, author of Love: The Course They Forgot to Teach You in School  many couples become distraught over knock-down, drag-out fights that they can’t resolve quickly and neatly.

"Don’t think that just because you can’t tie up the loose ends in a half hour like the couples in TV sitcoms, you’ve got a problem,” he is quoted. "Arguments are all about gray areas. In many cases there never will be a real answer, and that’s okay.” 

Believe it or not, according to the experts, such heated arguments can actually be a strong sign that your relationship is on the right track. 

There is never really a reason to fight, until you are committed.  

According to Mr Godek, in the context of a committed relationship, fights provide a way for couples to reconnect. This means that regardless of the fact that fighting is never fun or nice, the outcome could be positive. 

As miserable as fighting is, it deals with your weak spots and in a committed relationship, weak spots need the most attention.

We’ve been led to believe that fights can only be a win-lose scheme but don’t make it about winning or losing – or who the badass really is! Learn something from those fights and use that to strengthen your relationship, not tear it apart!