Did someone say catfight?

Other than goat’s meat on my plate, I live for fights. However, I must emphasize that I only like fights when they have nothing to do with me.

Friday, May 03, 2013

Other than goat’s meat on my plate, I live for fights. However, I must emphasize that I only like fights when they have nothing to do with me. Should I be forced into a fight, I make sure that the time I spent watching karate movies wasn’t a waste – in other words, I highly advise any potential fighters not to come at me with that bullshit.Back to the point, sometime while chilling with friends at a popular bar, this group of girls walked in, about 15 of them. Now, I’m not sure if they were prostitutes or simply on the wrong side of fashion. They sat down, shouting at the top of their voices every time a familiar song played and generally gave us all something to talk about other than our own boring lives.The killer part was when one friend suggested that another girl in the group had slept with a guy she knew her friend liked. The girl tried to defend herself by saying she had no idea that they liked each other because the guy never said a word (trust men). I’d like to think the music was low but no…these girls were on some other @%*# - louder than two high school bands playing together.Things took an ugly turn when the one who felt ‘cheated on’ poured her drink on the other. Well, it was ugly for other people, but for me, I was having the time of my life. They all decided to fight and it was hard to tell who was fighting whom. Their weaves and acrylic nails flew all over the place. Bra’s snapped, miniskirts flipped and underwear peeped – it was a real disaster.When bouncers came to their rescue, it was like trying to tear a lion away from its fresh prey. I’m pretty sure one of the bouncers was ‘clawed’ in the process, angering him and forcing him to reconsider his original plan to put her down nicely (I think you get the mix).When this ‘fighting’ dilemma came my way recently, I pulled the ‘don’t mess with me’ card and was shocked to find out that I was threatening Leila Ali herself! Lucky for me, I was in the company of a semi Mike Tyson. So while safely tucked away behind Tyson, I kept daring the girl to ‘do something’. She gave me one glance and promised it wasn’t over.Now…I’m wondering where serious karate lessons are held!