…make calls every 10 minutes to announce where they have reached. I think using public transport is simply a chance for some of us to experience what hell could be like. I mean how do you explain the torture of having to sit next to a fool who keeps calling another just to announce every town the bus has reached? "Hey we are in Nyagata... no we are actually in Kayonza,” said the fool next to me. Where do such people come from? I mean was he trying to compete with Google maps or what? Can’t you just travel in silence? Do you have to go yapping about every road sign you see? So what will you do when you get on a plane, announce clouds you are seeing or what? 

…give customers very short straws in restaurants. I think some business people are just evil. Have you been to some of these places where they shamelessly offer you the kind of drinking straw that just drowns in the bottle? I am talking about the kind that is aimed at making it impossible for you to finish your soda. Is it done this way so that you can leave some for the underpaid waiters to sip on later? Or the one that makes you look immensely thirsty as you have to bend with your mouth almost touching the bottle just to use it. What kind of nonsense is this? Next time you try it on me you will see that indeed there are some people who were born before straws were invented. 

…go to Europe/US and come back with the seasons. It is bad enough having to listen to someone who spent about 5 years in the UK or US forging an accent just to prove that he/she was abroad for a while. However I get so pissed when these same wannabes think it is cool to refer to time using seasons that do not exist here. This nonsense of saying you will go to Gisenyi in the summer must stop. The next time I hear a fool saying they are planning to go to Kampala during spring I swear I will slap them so hard they won’t know whether it is ok to continue speaking English to me. In Rwanda we do not just have rain and sunshine. Dry and wet seasons, period.  

…always want to cry more than the beareaved. Iam sure you did not expect me to let this go without a word. Yes I am talking about all of you who were busy sending prayers to families in Boston yet when grenades are thrown in Kigali you are tweeting and Facebooking about Manchester and Arsenal’s next football game. You hypocrites who want to pretend to be more American than the Red Indians just make me sick. Yes it was a tragedy but not a unique one. All tragedies call for sympathy more so when they happen closer to home. Staying in Kimisagara and weeping for people in Boston yet floods are killing people in your country won’t earn you a US visa. Just saying.  

…pretend to care about customers except on weekends. The customer care song is one of the most sang in Rwanda but it continues to be ignored. Without mentioning names let me just say that I hate companies that shut down their customer care offices on weekends. Why don’t you want to listen to our troubles yet you are still selling to us your airtime. Yes I am talking about telecoms that insist we come back on Monday which just means we have to suffer the whole weekend. God is watching you. 

The Hater