It is never fun to know that the man you love belongs to another woman. And although she is not even prettier than you, or even more intelligent, the truth is most people will still hate you. 

The worst part is that people shrug their shoulders at ‘Mr. Married but Won’t Keep His Pants Zipped’ and say, "Boys will be boys,” while they give you the hating of a lifetime.  

However, despite all of this you just won’t let go. You keep going a little crazy each time he goes home to his wife. If he loves you, why is he going back to the marriage where the wife does not even understand him as he claims? When will he divorce her?

Take Zoe, for instance. She was fooling around with a male co-worker who claimed that he had broken up with his girlfriend. After a couple of phone calls from a woman pretending to be his sister every time they were together, I realized that he was still with her and she was catching on. Remembering that ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’ I   begged her to bow out. I did not want her to be ‘The Other Woman”.

However, if you are intent on being one, here are a few pointers.

Do not delude yourself. You are not the good person here

Everything from here on out is in a morally gray area. You might as well stop going to church in my opinion. If you get angry that he is seeing yet another woman, then why the hell are you involved with him in the first place? You already accepted that you will be the other woman, and if you cannot accept it, your antics only lead to more drama. And we do not want that, do we? 

Do not EVER, EVER try to contact his official woman!

You think she likes to be told of how her man is a player? How his vows did not affect his trousers? Heck no! Do not try to be friends with the Cheater’s girlfriend. Ever!

Newsflash: you are a symbol to the Cheater’s Girlfriend of his infidelity and she does not want that rubbed in her face any more than she’d want dog poo on a silver platter. If in case you do meet, apologize and take a bow. Better yet, don’t apologize. It will make no difference to her. You are the enemy.

Try not to involve people who know the couple

Your friends or family might feel like they have to pick sides. Trust me, that’s a situation you’re better off avoiding. Of course sides will be chosen. I know people who have broken up because one loves NRM and the other FDC, and those are just political parties. If you do not want to break up with him soon, and the extramarital affair is going to continue, please do not spoil any friendships on account of your madness.

I know you don’t want to hear this but … he’s not worth it. 

Would you want the father of your children to be a guy like him? Ok, let us drop the soap operas and concentrate on real life here. One, you do not have a name like Juantenella. Two: the guy belonged to her first before he married the ‘evil woman’. You are a real life woman, screwing the life of another real life woman by sleeping with her man. 

Grow up. Stop whining and get your own man. God has a wonderful plan for you. Don’t mess it up by going off course.

When you find a new, unattached boyfriend (preferably after lots of therapy!), you’ll realize life goes on. A couple months down the line, you’ll no longer have feelings for this jerk.