There is a sense of increased sorrow during the commemoration period for everyone in Rwanda or abroad with ties to the country. But for Genocide survivors it can be a worse feeling because they were targeted and went through these terrible events.  There is also an urge that everyone should support Genocide survivors during this difficult time. But doing so may not be as straightforwardly doable as said.

Below are some of the tips on how to reach out to Genocide survivors as briefly highlighted by Psychiatrist Charles Mudenge of the University Central Hospital of Kigali (CHUK).

First off, the doctor wants you to know that Genocide survivors during commemoration period may often experience emotional, psychological and physical trauma symptoms. Emotional trauma and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless and vulnerable while you continue to live in this world.

Any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and alone can be traumatic, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm, the doctor says, and "it’s not the objective facts that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the events”.

That means "the more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are traumatized”.

Genocide survivors may feel shock, denial, disbelief, anger, irritability mood swings, guilt, shame, self- blame, feeling sad or helpless, confusion, difficulty concentrating, anxiety and fear, withdraw from others, feeling disconnected or numb. They may also have trouble sleeping, fatigability, difficulty in concentrating, muscle tension, aches and pains, racing heart beats, and loss of appetite.

Specific tips to best reach out to Genocide survivors in our communities

To stand with Genocide survivors, Dr. Mudenge recommends being close to them, showing empathy, being involved in organising commemoration activities, offering practical support, involving social support such as house work activities like availing food and clothing and ensuring sustainable financial assistance and being there to talk  to and listen to them.

He also recommends refraining from putting pressure on the survivors to say what they passed through, but allowing them to feel that you are there for them to understand and support them.

Also, help them engage in social activities and feel relaxed.

"Don’t isolate them,” the doctor says. "The symptoms a survivor may exhibit, emotional or physical, may not disrupt your relationship.”

Genocide survivors would love to be encouraged and understood, the doctor says. They would love to see the Genocide perpetrators followed up and dealt with accordingly, and they would love to see justice done to survivors and more especially their concerns like medical treatment, poverty, and general welfare addressed.

While they are advised to seek mental health professionals in case of symptoms like suffering severe fear, anxiety, depression, trouble in functioning at work or home, or using alcohol or drugs to feel better, the closest help they can access faster will always come from their neighbours and friends in communities where they live.