I’m sure you’ve read a piece I’ve written expressing my view that we men will go to crazy lengths to advertise our ‘special-ness’ to the women that we are trying to attract.

I’ve personally started hitting the gym and stopped drinking beer because I want to have a six-pack for the first time in my life.

And let me tell you ladies out there, a six-pack is of no use to us men…the only reason that we guys might have one is because we know that you, ladies, have an inexplicable love for the legendary ‘washboard’ stomach.

So, whenever you see a guy causing himself such pain (trust me, sit ups aren’t anybody’s cup of tea) know that he’s trying to get into someone’s panties.

But sometimes the washboard stomach doesn’t work quite the magic it is supposed to…and drastic measures have to be applied; all in the hope that the lady of your desires will give you the time of day.

Sometimes, however, those drastic steps can backfire and leave you looking like an even worse bumbling fool than you were previously.

Anyway, there I was last Friday, chilling with the rest of the crew over at H20, having failed to convince people to go to Papyrus instead. As you can probably guess, I’m not a huge H20 fan…it’s like a mini-Baghdad.

That joint replaced the MTN Center as the ‘most violent nightspot’ in Kigali. Papyrus is rather low key…I still haven’t seen bloodshed there… it’s my kindda place.

But despite the little-Baghdad tag that I’ve given it, H20 is a general happiness kind of place…so, it’s kind of exciting, in a seedy kind of way.

Anyway, the boys and I were at H20, having been at the Shady Bar previously, and unlike previous nights out, we were accompanied by a few female members of the crew.

One of the ladies, who is cuteness personified, was immediately accosted by an ex of hers. This guy was what we call, a ‘sticker’.

He refused to acknowledge the status change in the relationship no matter what she said. So, there he was, still trying his best to reignite the relationship…sadly, the lady wasn’t having any of it.

He continued milling around her, like a moth to a flame, until he saw his opportunity. You see, a couple years back a certain fellow (whose name can’t be mentioned here) mistreated this lady while they were still a couple.

The lovelorn chap took one look at the fellow, grabbed a bottle and promptly bashed him on the head with it! Well, that started a general melee that we were almost dragged into. We kept our cool and things quietened down.

‘Lovelorn’ came over after awhile and sheepishly apologised for starting the brouhaha. Funnily enough, ‘Lovelorn’ knew what his arch-enemy had done all those years back but refused to do anything about it until the girl was there to witness his ‘heroics’. Will the tactic succeed…let’s see.

Contact: madogz2002@yahoo.ca