What to expect when you go to a restaurant

I GO TO RESTAURANTS sometimes. When I go to a restaurant, I usually have a good idea of what’s going to happen.

Saturday, March 23, 2013
Moses Opobo

I GO TO RESTAURANTS sometimes. When I go to a restaurant, I usually have a good idea of what’s going to happen. That is because eating at a restaurant usually follows a set script. I’m not saying that the waiters and waitresses are actually handed written scripts to cram and memorize. But even so, they usually stick to a very narrow, unimaginative range of phrases. Here is what I have come to expect whenever I have gone to a restaurant.The host/hostessMany times that I’ve been to a restaurant, the host or hostess wanted to know how many people would be eating with me. In the average restaurants, they put it plainly; "How many?”, while in fancy ones, they ask; "How many are in your party?”Once, we (a friend and I) walked into this rather fancy eatery in Kimihurura, and were quite sure that the waiters had seen us walk in. still, they asked/observed; "You are two?”After you have walked into a restaurant, the waiter will lead you to your table with phrases like "Right this way”, and "Follow me, please.”In the more posh restaurants, chivalry personified awaits you. "Would you like me to take your jacket for you?” And depending on the atmosphere of the restaurant, they may try to squeeze in some small talk:"How are things this evening?”, or "How is it going?”Waiters love going on and on about their "specials”, so if the place has any daily specials, the waiter will make them known to you.  While you await the arrival of your specials, you are expected to do the decent thing, that is -order drinks."Can I get you something to drink?”If you’re not sure, the server will ask; "Do you need some time to decide?” Or they will offer to be back at you shortly.When the waiter or waitress returns, he or she will ask you to order your food:If you ask for the availability of something that is available, the waiter will reply; "Sure”.Or at a posh restaurant: "Certainly”, or "Sure”. Or "Sure-sure”.  When the waiter or waitress brings your order, and before vanishing again, they’ll ask: "Can I get you anything else?”After you are finished eating, someone will come to collect your dishes: "Would you like me to take that over there too?” they’ll ask as they point to the dessert bowl at the edge of the table.   Then the server will come out to ask about your meal: "How was everything? Can I interest you in our dessert menu?” (fancy restaurant).When you’re finished with dessert, the waiter now comes out and offers to bring you the bill.A few times there are questions about your bill: "Would you like me to split it among the two of you?”