Insecurity: a relationship’s worst enemy

Ever had those moments when you don’t feel pretty enough, or smart enough or sexy enough or whatever?

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Ever had those moments when you don’t feel pretty enough, or smart enough or sexy enough or whatever? Have you ever woken up feeling so fat, you just want to stay in bed and console yourself with deep fried chicken! Don’t worry, we won’t judge! Every woman is insecure in some way, and that’s okay because no one is perfect.A woman’s insecurities don’t just stop with her, they leak into relationships like a faulty faucet. If anyone told you that insecurity is sexy and proves to a man just how much you love him, throw a pie in their face! Insecurity is irritating – it may seem cute at first that you follow him everywhere he goes but later; it is just pain annoying. So maybe a you got a little fat over the years and looking at pictures of you back in high school makes you just want to curl up in a corner and weep. I’m sure the guy dated you after you got all plump so think about this way, if he liked slimmer women, wouldn’t he just date one from the start?Also, if you feel that bad about your size then do something about it. Don’t just sit there feeling sorry for your ‘fat’ self (excuse my language and relish the fact that I am quite plump myself…so like always, I know what I am talking about). Quit jumping on those motos even when you are at UTC (Union Trade Centre) and want to get to KCT (Kigali City Towers). Unless you are comfortable with the bouncing belly, start walking! Some men do not make it easy for women to feel good about themselves. If a guy does not have the ability to complement his woman even once, it becomes a problem. A woman loves to be told how pretty she looks or how the new hairstyle suits her or that the dress she just dished into her savings for looks amazing on her. And in case you didn’t know, men love being complimented too…they just don’t like admitting it. So, if women could learn to compliment their men from time to time, maybe, just maybe, men will learn to do the same. Insecurity also comes from our trust issues – if you have trouble trusting a man then you have no business being with him. Trust is the seam of the relationship and without it, it WILL fall apart. Trust him until that trust is broken and even then, if you are insecure, get an impartial person and give them the entire story. When women talk to their friends sometimes they embellish the story, or only give it from their point of view. Be open-minded and explain how your partner views things. It’s only fair. Still with trust issues, do NOT snoop unless you have good reason not to trust him. If he has openly given you his passwords to his email and facebook accounts, then he clearly has nothing to hide – though if we are honest, such guys are pretty hard to find. If he has never given you reason not to trust him, then give him the benefit of the doubt and force yourself to believe that you might be one of the few ladies dating a real gem!When it comes to feeling underappreciated, it wouldn’t hurt to give him a little friendly competition. Find a way to let him know that your tall, built, wildly successful lawyer friend from school every so often tells you you’re the one who got away and it’s the biggest regret of his life.  It works like a charm!Lastly, the last person you want to tell your insecurity issues to is an equally insecure and paranoid friend. Paranoia is contagious, and before you know it, you’ll be wondering if your boyfriend is cheating, because your friend’s guy came home smelling of Poison when she only wears Escada.