Disciplining a child without affecting the parental bond

Initially, the African interpretation of disciplining children was beating the daylights out of them. I will be lying if I said I never received lashes – even for things as minor as breaking a bowl of sugar while trying to get it from a cupboard.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Discipline a child without affection could lead to emotional disaster. Net Photo

Initially, the African interpretation of disciplining children was beating the daylights out of them. I will be lying if I said I never received lashes – even for things as minor as breaking a bowl of sugar while trying to get it from a cupboard. Spare the rod and spoil the child goes the infamous adage. Today, beating a child is acceptable in some communities while in others, it is frowned upon as it physically and emotionally affects a child. Most parents worry about disciplining their children, thinking that the child will stop loving them. If a child is not disciplined at an early age, there are consequences that come with that. I recently visited family friends and the six-year-old son jeered at the mother because she had stopped him from playing with my phone. The boy‘s jeer didn’t bother me that much, its his mother’s reaction that surprised me. She pretended like she had not heard the jeer! I didn’t hesitate to inquire about her parenting skills as this boy will next time jeer at his teacher or a visitor if not handled.There are ways to discipline a child without severing the parent and child’s bond. According to an article ‘How to discipline a child’ published on wikihow.com, when your children begin to misbehave, imagine a scale from 1 - 10. 1-5 are minor faults to be dealt with minor punishment. 6-10 are major faults that need to be dealt with larger punishments such as grounding for a week or weeks, spanking them, or cutting off their luxuries.  Joy Mukono, a resident of Kimironko and a mother of three, said that it’s important to discipline a child while showing them affection at the same time. "Even when you have beaten a child, it’s vital as a parent to show some affection, letting them know that you spanked them because what they did was unacceptable,” Mukono explains. She further said that the bond between a child and a parent is strong and disciplining them rarely affects it if it is done right. "I advise parents to prove to their children that disciplining them isn’t something pleasant, but it has to be done because as a parent, you love them that much. That way they won’t hate you for punishing them. Dialogue with your child is also very important.”Parents also need to educate their children on acceptable behaviour and always remind them about the importance of good morals.