It is a few minutes before 10 am as we are cleared into the Rwanda Defence Force (RDF) Senior Officers Mess in Kimihurura. In the waiting room of the facility, a convenient and quiet atmosphere prevails.

A few minutes later we are invited into the conference hall to meet with Lt. Col Lydia Bagwaneza of the Republican Guard.

Although Bagwaneza is dressed in her military uniform and her aides are present in the hall, there is an invisible presence that fills the room; it is an aura of peace.

ALSO READ: Liberation Day: The capture of Mont Kigali and fall of the capital

After taking their seats, Bagwaneza proceeded to recount the tale of joining the liberation struggle by then RPA forces, which would later stop the 100-day 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi and liberate the nation from a genocidal regime.

In October 1990, Bagwaneza, who had completed Primary Six, recalls leaving Rwamwanja Refugee Settlement, a refugee camp that was at the time located in Kamwenge District in southwestern Uganda, to join rebels in the liberation movement.

At the camp, the fourth child in a family of ten left both of her parents, who had fled to Uganda, with a lot of work to do; she had to overcome the odds in order to liberate her homeland.

"I joined the struggle at a tender age, but as we normally like to say, the early bird catches the worm. We joined those who had already started. We were tired of living in foreign lands, and so were our parents, basically we had always been up and down.

"I would say my parents were the biggest source of inspiration. They were hardworking, even while struggling in a foreign land, and they still worked to take care of their families.

"I remember during holidays, our region used to host meetings and I was in charge of taking minutes even while I was in Primary Three. There is a way they didn’t know how to write and I used to be tasked to take that role. So we could read and then they explained. That was really inspiring to me and it showed me that I was able.”

The thorny beginnings

Despite the noble ambition, Bagwaneza recalls the first three months being rough, especially after losing a leader in then-rebel leader Maj. Gen Fred Gisa Rwigema.

"At the start, it was not easy, especially for us who joined at a time when most leaders had been killed. I joined after the death of Gisa, Bayingana, and Bunyenyezi.”

There was no morale at the time, Bagwaneza says, until President Paul Kagame arrived at the battlefield.

"He gave us a boost of confidence and high morale, that you could nearly forget all the days we have been starving,” she said, adding, "I was also present at the time.”

ALSO READ: Four books to help you understand the Liberation Day

From the beginning, the secret was knowing what we wanted, Bagwaneza pointed out.

"The struggle was challenging, spending days bent over in the sun, not knowing when they might get food next, with no knowledge of where to find shelter, but undeterred in their aim to achieve the goal.

"There was literally nothing but the silver lining was our leadership. We had strong leadership that kept us checked and in high morale.”

Overcoming the odds

Through the ages, in every country known, the military career has been seen as the preserve of men - not just any men; only the vigorous and most courageous.

Beyond the selection based on physical skills, there is social consensus that women should refrain from a career in the armed forces. This was not the case for Bagwaneza, as she narrated a famous story during our chat.

In ancient Rwanda, enlisted men could be replaced by a member of their immediate family provided that it was a boy.

For instance, if a man had served in the military for a long time and wanted to be discharged, his son could take his place.

ALSO READ: Liberation day: Fond memories to many Rwandans

In the 17th century, however, Ndabaga, a young girl, decided against all odds to act with what is probably the first gender equality demand of all time, and one of the finest acts of sacrifice; the only child of an enlisted father, she learns the art of combat, masquerades as a boy and volunteers to replace her father so that he can return home and join his wife who had resigned to the fact she would never see him again.

Four centuries later, this legacy, told from generation to generation, would land in the ears of a refugee girl and trigger the dream to return to their homeland.

"I am the fourth in the family of ten and eight of us are girls. I always told myself that my father would one day have a child involved in liberation, and I am glad it ended up being me,” she said.

"Unfond” memories

Every year on July 4, when Rwandans celebrate Liberation Day, Bagwaneza is reminded of a few ugly moments, some of which she describes as "not leaving her memory.”

"It was in 1991, January when we entered Urugano (another key liberation site), it was one of the toughest times, we walked through thick and thin. It never leaves my memory.”

When pressed for details, she said, "We walked day and night on rocks and in expansive plantations of potatoes, garlic, maize and pyrethrum which you have to juggle through in a freezing cold, with no boots, no uniforms to cover ourselves and literally carrying artillery on our shoulders.

"It was one of the worst experiences and the hardship is still fresh in my memory.”

Recalling the hard times on the eve of July 4, Bagwaneza added, "What I saw in this country was death spiraling over. People were massacred in the cruelest forms. There are memories I have when I passed through Byumba, in Kibungo, found bodies butchered and dumped around, some were beheaded, some had lost their limbs, others had necks hanging and I remember those visuals in my mind until today.”

However, "Whenever I remember that we were, once and for all, liberated from people who committed such crimes, it gives me the true meaning of liberation.”

The silver lining

When Bagwaneza looks at Rwanda’s triumphs, 29 years after the genocidal regime, she says, "I see the fruits and results of unity and coming together instead of avenging one’s own blood.”

"Liberation to me reminds me of the chance of having a place to call home and also setting free those who were confined in the country. Victims were supported, assailants were reintegrated and you can see the results. One of the many things we were liberated from is the poor ideology, which led to tragic history.

"We have been ‘lefties’. My dream was to come back to my country. There is nothing more valuable than having a country where you belong.”

"Loving wife”

During the liberation struggle, Bagwaneza said, they were taught multitasking. For instance, she said, when you live a life where you have to do this and that, carry artillery, fight the enemy, take control of the ammunition, some dying and others surviving, then multi-tasking comes easy.

"Of course it is challenging, but it is possible.”

She added, "After getting married, I was worried that it might be hard and impossible to strike a balance. In fact, I was cautious at first. I thought it was unnecessary. But while at it, my superiors were getting married. It started motivating me and I noticed that it was possible.”

"Of course my husband understands the type of work I am involved in and he understands that my work is the priority.”

However, she asserted, whenever there is a chance, "I hang out with my family, often go to church, and also visit people. I am not the absent wife in the home, I am very present, whenever I can, I do take care of my children, we spend time together, go to church together, visit people, and I attend weddings and all this works perfectly well for me.

"I always strive to achieve the best result in everything I do. In all the challenges I have had, I was privileged to get married to a darling, if I may say, we share all the responsibilities.”

Tips to the young, Rwandans in general

If Bagwaneza had a chance to speak to her younger self, she said she would urge her to stay focused and learn from the history of this country.

"Young people should be thirsty and eager to learn. We are also present to support. Of course also enjoy what has been achieved but mainly focus on the future of Rwanda.”

Meanwhile, she added, "I would urge Rwandans, in general, to go back and parent our kids. We should strive to be there for our children. We used to have the dos and don’ts in our family but the culture is no more.”

With the advent of technology, Bagwaneza believes that not everything consumed is constructive.

"Different things are coming up today and most of them are not as constructive. We should not let our children buy into such. We are called to go back to the roots of our families and be there for our children. Let us prioritise our families, parents should understand and realise their responsibilities.”

On July 4, Rwanda will commemorate the 29th anniversary of Liberation Day, a celebration of the end of the brutal regime that presided over three decades of misrule which culminated in the Genocide against the Tutsi.