Jeanine Mukansanga, 38, is a beggar in Remera, Kigali

I wake up at 6.00 a.m., put on my clothes and dress my child. We rarely have food to eat or anything to drink. I immediately put my child on back and head to the streets. I often find it difficult to get there; I move at a snail’s pace with my child crying. I was born with crippled arms. All my life I have had back pain; I cannot walk or do anything properly.

It takes me a long time to reach my begging spot. I live in Kimironko but can’t keep begging in one position because you never know where well wishers come from.

They normally come from different walks of life, but not everyone has that heart of giving. Some of them may even kick you if you ask them to help you.

I remember once a gentleman passed. I asked him to help me with some money but he kicked me angrily and said he would kill me if I asked again. This is when I was begging in Kimironko market.

I decided to leave that place and head over here where he will not find me but still I get scared when begging especially from men.

The little money I get is mostly from women. They are kinder than men, if a woman passes and sees this child crying, she immediately gives me some bread or money.

Being disabled has prevented me from doing so many things. I dreamt of being a powerful woman. There was a pastor who passed by me when I was crying.

He consoled me and told me that I would soon get well and start walking like any other normal person. I am still waiting.

Since then, I have never been able to relax. There are times when I feel suicidal thinking about my life which was ruined by an unknown who raped and impregnated me.

I don’t know my kid’s father. She is now a year old and she has never seen her father. She is always ill and seems to have been crying since the day she was born. I try to beg the whole day and get something to eat.

Sometimes I get food especially if I approach restaurants at lunchtime. Begging has been my life since I was 12. It is the only way I know how to survive.

I wind up at 6 p.m. in the evening when I go back home and sleep at 8 p.m. after eating with my little girl.

Contact: deave204@yahoo.com