Women have issues!

Do not be confused, I am a diehard feminist. But even I know when a woman is being silly or unreasonable. I worked for a woman once, but out of fear of confirming how badly I hassled back in the day, I will not mention where. This woman had issues with everything; nail polish, jewellery, cute clothes...you know, stuff like that. She claimed company policy was against fancy looking things but considering we were neither builders nor chefs in a shady looking restaurant, I failed to understand the issue. I know I am not supposed to be late for work, but you see, as a woman, I expect that my fellow woman will understand that cramps almost killed me, and therefore have some sympathy. But this chick wasn’t moved by anything. I carried the urge to ask her if she was a robot with me till the day I left. Once she yelled at an employee (whom we later nicknamed daredevil) who dared to ask her for a raise on the grounds that she had worked longer than the rest. I can’t express just how fast the ‘dare devil’ left the angry woman’s office, her screams of ‘how dare you’ heading all the way to the North Pole! After working for ‘Crueller”, I decided to follow men! I love working for men; they are simple, have no issues with my jewellery and hard as it is for them to admit, easy to manipulate.  Praying my boss doesn’t read this.I will butt my eyelids and tell my boss that my cramps literally feel like my womb is being pulled out just to get a day off. Crap! Now I need to find another excuse! If asked about my substandard performance, I will gather all the tears in my body and swear on my life about a beating from my boyfriend I damn well know I didn’t get – what kind of man gets mad at an abused woman? I wonder whether to clear my desk now or wait for him to throw my stuff out!We all know that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and there is nothing more frightening to a man than a woman scorned...truthfully, they are scared of women, period! Should I ever feel scorned, my demands for a raise will be non negotiable! That’s it, I think I’ll just save us all the trouble and resign!