Pupil: I don’t think I deserved zero on this test!Teacher: I agree, but that’s the lowest mark I could give you!What do you call a teacher without students?HappyTeachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of Pupil: Life imprisonment!Where do door-makers get their education?The school of hard knocksWhat do you call a teacher without students?Broke…oh wait, that’s a regular teacherTeacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!Kid comes home from 1st day at school. Mum asks, ‘What did you learn today?’ Kid replies, ‘Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.’Pupil: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?Teacher: Of course notPupil: Good, because I didn’t do my homeworkTeacher: You copied from Fred’s exam paper didn’t you ?Pupil: How did you know ?Teacher: Fred’s paper says "I don’t know” and you have put "Me, neither”!The little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said ...”I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”