Last week I was hanging out with my boyfriend and his friends and I noticed that a lot of their jokes are about not being tied down by a girl and how the idea of being in a monogamous relationship makes them very uncomfortable and a path they would don’t want to go down. After, I asked my boyfriend if they really meant those things. He and some of his other buddies, who have chosen to commit, don’t seem to be unsatisfied. He wasn’t able to give me a direct answer, so I’m wondering if you could help figure this out. Why do guys pretend to hate being in a relationship but you’re together in private they love the perks of having a woman in their life?SarahDear Sarah,Let me break it down for you nice and simple. When a bunch of guys are together they simply talk out of their rear ends. I believe that it is simply because we are always trying to show just how ‘manly’ we are to our mates. For some reason, we’ve been trained to believe that women want ‘monogamy’, while men want to ‘sow their wild oats’. It’s all for show really. Somehow, men have been brainwashed to believe that admitting that they want ONE woman is questionable and a dark spot on their masculinity. The very fellows claiming that they love their freedoms are the very same fellows who, in unguarded moments, wish they were with someone special. And the magic word is ‘special’. At the end of the day, the biggest ‘players’ want to make up next to someone who they love. If you have a question about men, contact itsaguything@newtimes.co.rw